Page 48 of The Love Position

Sophia woke disorientated, an arm flailing across the top of her nightstand, trying to silence an alarm clock that wasn’t there.

Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong!

‘Jesus wept. What time is it?’ Jessica muttered from the bed next to hers.

The lights went on in the dorm, and Sophia shielded her eyes, the reality of where she was collapsing on her like a ton of bricks.

‘Five thirty?’ Jessica exclaimed. ‘Is this an ashram or a boot camp?’

‘Satsang is in half an hour,’ another American voice said.

Sophia pushed herself up to sit, reaching for a scrunchie to tie up her long hair. Still jet lagged, she hadn’t slept well, and her limbs were even more uncooperative than usual.

After Satsang and Isaac’s abrupt departure the previous evening, Sophia hadn’t had time to chat to Jessica. Suddenly she’d been meeting the four other women sharing their dormitory and queuing to use the communal bathrooms before bed.

Khloe-Narcisse and Paisley were in their early twenties and friends from Los Angeles. Fearne and Tyger were mid-twenties and knew each other from an ashtanga yoga class they attended in London.

All the women made Sophia want to crawl under her bed and hide. They looked like fitness models, each one wearing yoga clothes that were more hole than Lycra and designed to showcase just how little body fat they possessed.

The women had been friendly, however Sophia couldn’t help but notice how assessing their gazes had been. Luckily for her, it seemed they’d decided she was no threat to them and relegated her in their minds to ‘small and inoffensive animal’ status.

Rushing back from the bathroom, she made her way down the stairs with Jessica, slipping off the bottom step to the ground.

Jessica grabbed her arm. ‘You okay?’

‘Yes, thanks. I’m super clumsy at the best of times, but when I’m tired, it makes everything worse.’

‘Bambi on ice?’

‘More like a bull in a china shop.’

A couple of people passed them, shushing loudly.

‘Good morning!’ Jessica called out to them.

They turned and mimed zipping their lips shut.

‘It’s okay. We’re not doing mauna.’

Shaking their heads, they continued on.

‘Well, top of the morning to you, too,’ Jessica muttered. ‘Honestly, this—’

‘Quiet!’ hissed Anisha, striding down the path from the tent area with Mohan. ‘You should be observing complete silence before Satsang.’

‘No-one told us that.’

‘It was on the piece of paper you signed yesterday.’

‘I didn’t read that bit. I was more concerned about the no sex rule. Do people check up on you? Listen outside your tent? Because, girl, that wouldn’t work for me. When I’m coming, I sound like a hyena on a roller coaster.’ Jessica threw back her head, yipping and screeching.

Sophia slapped a hand to her mouth, but it didn’t stop the snort from escaping.

‘And Sophia sounds like a warthog at an all-you-can-eat buffet.’

Anisha gave them both a death stare and stomped away, pulling on Mohan’s arm.

Shoulders shaking with laughter, Sophia wiped the corners of her eyes. ‘You make me laugh so much. You remind me of my friend Estelle.’

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