Page 144 of The Love Position

Sophia was quiet, taking in Estelle’s words. She’d blindly worshipped Marcus for almost as long as Isaac had idolised Swami Vishnu.

‘Isaac is one of the good ones. And the fact he’s going to India to try and get justice shows that. You can’t compare Marcus to him. You were only eighteen when you met him, an adult in name only. How on earth were you to know he was a cheating dickhead? Yes, I understand you’re worried about making the same mistake, but I trust Isaac.’ Estelle took a deep breath. ‘You know what I think?’

Sophia shook her head.

‘Part of you is still that teenager. Star-struck that Professor Cockwomble noticed little-old-you. Not quite believing someone so amazing was actually interested in shy Sophia. It must have been like being at school and the hottest and coolest guy asking you to the Prom.’

Sophia’s cheeks heated. It had felt exactly like that when Marcus had made his move.

‘And then Isaac professes his love for you. Says he wants to break his bloody vow of celibacy to be with you. Out of all the women in the world, he chooses you. And so your insecurity rears its head again, telling you it can’t be true, that you don’t deserve it, that there has to be some kind of catch. An ugly lie hiding behind the curtains, waiting to pounce.’

Unbidden, tears spilled from Sophia’s eyes.

Estelle’s face creased with concern. ‘We all deserve love, and nobody right now more than you. Don’t let what Marcus did to you in the past dictate your future. Don’t allow whatever bullshit lies Guru Gobshite told you to lodge in your head as the truth. Isaac’s a good man and he loves you. If you love him, then don’t stand in the way of your own happiness.’

When Estelle left, Sophia lay back, staring at the plaster moulding on the high ceiling, mulling over her friend’s words. She felt as if she’d been battered by a storm that had lasted months. It had finally blown over, but left her life in pieces. It was now up to her to rebuild it, but this time it was going to look very different.

She emailed Jessica, then started a detailed account of Swami Vishnu’s assault. But as her fingers rattled over the keys, she didn’t just recount what had happened at the temple.

Sophia wrote about Swami Vishnu’s behaviour during the class on chakras, how he never asked for permission before touching people, how fucked up the kriya class was, and the way he’d pushed her and Isaac together, then pulled them apart as if they were pawns in a sick game he was playing.

When she finally finished her statement, she emailed it to Isaac and Jessica, then started another message to the Vice Chancellor of the University and the board of trustees. Her experiences at the ashram had shone a spotlight on Marcus’s behaviour. No matter if the students he’d seduced were willing partners, he’d abused his position of trust. The women were young, and Marcus was responsible for their grades and future job prospects. Pursuing them for sex was unethical, and encouraging them to smoke heroin with him was unforgivable.

As well as detailing his affairs, Sophia also asked for a peer review of his assessment of the Iceni find, stating the facts, her interpretation of them, and why she believed that Marcus was wholly wrong in his assertion that the warrior was Roman.

Then she tendered her resignation. No matter what happened with Isaac, she wasn’t going back to Salisbury University. She couldn’t face all the memories of her life there with Marcus, nor face him, their students, and the other lecturers and admin staff who’d stood by and said nothing as she was humiliated.

She would live with her parents until she found another job in academia, or look for freelance or consultancy work. It was time for a fresh start.

But one bit of her old life kept whispering to her, like an ear worm that could cut through everything, even sleep. Opening the folder with the survey data from the dig site, Sophia scanned the numbers and images. Marcus hadn’t let her lay a trench across the most promising area, but she couldn’t let it go.

Before she could second-guess herself, she took out her phone and dialled.

‘Sophia? You back?’

‘Hi Maggie. Yep, I came home early.’

‘Everything alright?’

‘Not really, but I’ll tell you all about it when I see you. How do you fancy a bit of digging?’

‘Do I get a prize for guessing where?’

Sophia laughed. ‘You already know exactly where.’

‘Weather’s looking good for tomorrow, if you fancy it?’

‘Definitely. I’m going to ring Richard now to get permission to go back on his land. As soon as he’s given us the okay, I’ll let you know.’

The late summer sun blazed high in a bright blue sky, and the air was heavy with heat as Sophia stood with Maggie at the edge of the escarpment.

So much had changed since January. Back then, Sophia believed herself happily coupled with Marcus and secure in her job. Now those chapters in her life were coming to a close, and it was time to finish another.

‘Are you going to make a speech?’ Maggie asked.

‘Huh?’

The older woman shifted her metal detector from her shoulder. ‘You look like you’re either composing a poem or about to recite one.’

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