‘Huh?’
‘I asked God to help you.’
‘With Sophia?’
‘No, in general. But it would appear he wants you to spend more time with her.’
‘So does my guru.’
‘Really?’
‘He thinks the more I’m with her, the less I’ll feel.’
Eveline’s laughter was so loud, Isaac had to hold the phone away from his ear. He couldn’t help but grin at his friend’s reaction.
‘Oh, Isaac, what a silly man! That’s the opposite of what’s going to happen. Sophia’s an absolute delight.’
He stared at the sand, scuffing it with his toe. ‘I know.’
‘You and her, stuck together on a tropical island. This is just like one of my Polly Hart novels!’
‘The ones with really long titles?’
‘Yes. I’m just trying to think of one for your situation… Hang on… It would be something like “Stolen Kisses and Moonlight Wishes at the Pineapple Ashram on Palm Tree Island”. Yes! That’s perfect.’
Lifting his gaze to the moon, Isaac imagined kissing Sophia. Every cell in his body lit up.
‘Is it difficult being there with her?’
Isaac had always been honest with Eveline and now wasn’t the time to stop.
‘It’s agony. It feels like we’re one person, and when we’re apart, everything inside me aches. Then, when I’m with her… I want to…’
‘Do everything?’
He let out a held breath. ‘Yes. But it’s more than lust. It feels like—’ He couldn’t allow himself to say, or even think, the word that his soul cried out. ‘It’s just more.’
‘Isaac, remember me telling you about my early twenties, before I found God?’
‘Yes.’
‘So, just like your life changed radically when you left your job in London, mine is the polar opposite of how it once was.’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘And now, since Jack, it’s changing for me again. My point is that life never stands still. And just because we think we’ve got it where we want it, doesn’t mean the status quo will be appropriate for a year down the line, or even a day. Events change us. People change us. And we also have the power to remake ourselves at any time.’
Eveline sighed. ‘I know we like to think we’re flexible, but most people are stiffer than steel girders. Even if someone’s circumstances are simply terrible, they’re often too scared to do anything different because they’re too comfortable with what they know. And then there’s the perceived social embarrassment if we’ve taken a certain position and go back on it.’
Isaac was silent. He’d been so sure of his path for so many years, but was now facing a fork in the road he could never have anticipated.
‘It’s like the staunch vegan who now eats meat. The evangelical Christian who renounces God. The man who comes out as gay, years after marrying a woman. We create these personas for ourselves, then worry about what people will think if we want to do something differently. But Isaac, you’re allowed to change your mind. Deciding to pursue a physical relationship with Sophia, or anyone else for that matter, doesn’t alter who you are as a person.’
‘I can’t imagine having a physical relationship with anyone other than Sophia.’
‘And doesn’t that tell you all you need to know?’
Isaac didn’t know how to reply. Everything Eveline had said was right.