Page 58 of The Love Position

Grabbing a box of tissues from the cupboard, he sat next to Sophia and held it out. He desperately wanted to touch her, comfort her, but didn’t want to overstep a boundary, especially when she was so angry with him.

‘I’m sorry, Sophia.’

‘I wouldn’t be so upset,’ she gulped, ‘if I wasn’t so exhausted. This course is nothing like I thought it would be. I hate nearly everything about it.’

As if ashamed of her admission, her sobs intensified.

Guilt ate at him. As if Sophia’s life hadn’t been catastrophic enough this year, she’d travelled halfway across the world to spend a month doing something she hated. He should have told her more about what was involved when they’d been in Foxbrooke, but he’d had no idea how serious she was about doing the TTC.

Or had she made the decision because of his dismissal of the experience they’d shared at his house, then his premature departure for India? Had she come to the ashram looking for answers that he’d denied her?

‘You’re right,’ he said quietly. ‘Something did happen that afternoon. I’m so sorry I lied about it, and I’m mortified by my behaviour towards you here.’

Her head lifted, and she gazed at him, her eyes wide. ‘W-what?’

Knowing he’d caused the tears that streaked down her face was a sucker punch, knocking out his breath.

‘Sophia, I’m so sorry.’

She took a tissue to blow her nose, her tears still flowing.

‘What happened at your house? And why are you being so distant?’

Was the way forward to be honest with her as well as with himself? Would this give him relief from the feelings tightening around his heart with every beat?

He moved further away, as if that would stop the urge to reach across the gap between them and pull her into his arms.

Sophia’s eyes refilled with tears as she stared at him.

She probably thinks I can’t stand being near her.

Letting out a strangled cry, he ran his hands into his hair.

‘Hanuman?’

His head shot up. ‘No.’

That name coming from Sophia’s lips felt utterly wrong. With her, he was Isaac, not Hanuman.

‘Please, call me Isaac.’

She nodded, but her forehead furrowed with confusion.

He took a deep breath. ‘Explaining to you what happened means a much harder conversation. But it’s only fair to you that I’m honest.’

‘Okay.’

Drawing on all his reserves, he held eye contact, fully aware that the last time they’d gazed at each other like this, he’d had the most profound occurrence of his life.

‘That afternoon, our kundalini shakti was awakened, and we shared a tantric experience.’

‘Oh. Is that normal?’

Isaac wanted to laugh out loud at the idea, but instead shook his head.

‘Not at all. I’ve been practising yoga for years and I’ve never even got off the spiritual starting-blocks. I knew in theory what I might expect, but it didn’t touch how it felt.’

‘So, we meditate in order to try and make that happen?’

---