Page 52 of The Love Position

‘After spending four thousand dollars? I think I’ll stick it out.’

Anisha ignored Jessica, picking up her clipboard and turning the page.

‘Now I’m going to give you your karma yoga allocations, which you will be doing for two hours over the next thirty days, starting after breakfast this morning. Blake, Xander, Zane and Colby, you’re removing sargassum from the beaches. Ellie and Miriam will take the register at the start and end of every activity. Garden duties are assigned to Christine, Sonia, Holly and Emma. Lauren B and Lauren G will assist me with admin. Grace will clean the temple and Lulu and Kaleese will work in the shop. Washing up after breakfast will be done by Marla and Piper, after dinner by Caroline and Lina, and the cleaning of communal areas such as walkways and asana halls will be done by Joan, Lila, Kasey with a K and Casey with a C. Rubbish collection and removal is to be handled by Arabella and Chanelle, wash basins and showers will be cleaned by Fearne and Khloe-Narcisse, and toilets will be cleaned by Paisley, Tyger, Sophia and Jessica.’

Silence.

‘Okay, let me get this straight,’ Jessica began. ‘I paid four thousand dollars for a yoga teacher training course, and you’re expecting me to clean frikking toilets for two hours a day?’

‘Karma yoga is an integral part of the TTC,’ Anisha replied, her face a mask. ‘By renouncing your own selfish needs and desires and working for the greater good, the ego is destroyed and union with the divine realised.’

‘So, after breathing in Clorox for sixty hours, I’m gonna be Buddha?’

There were a few more snickers and Sophia bit the inside of her cheek to stop her smile. The last thing she wanted during an already over-scheduled day was to spend two hours of it on her hands and knees cleaning toilets.

Anisha gave Jessica a thin smile. ‘Like I said, you’ve already agreed twice to the ashram’s terms and conditions. If you change your mind at any point, the ferry to the mainland runs six times a day. Now, I’m going to run you through the manuals, then Mohan and I will take you to the person overseeing your karma yoga, or show you how to do it.’

By the time the bell rang for breakfast at ten o’clock, Sophia was sure her stomach had eaten itself. Anisha had told everyone to be mindful of each movement they made and not run when moving around the ashram, however she jogged after Jessica in order to be near the front of the line for food, then piled her plate as high as she could.

On the whole, the meals were tasty. But beans and vegetables weren’t as filling, and didn’t give the same nutritional punch, as one of her mother’s Sunday roasts. Sophia doubted she could eat enough to last her eight hours until the next meal.

‘I’m making a shopping list for our day off,’ Jessica said in between huge mouthfuls. ‘Plastic boxes we can fill with food for eating later, coffee granules, sugar, powdered milk, and a travel kettle. Beef jerky, trail bars and chocolate.’

‘Is there a shop near the airport?’

‘I think so, but if not, we can take a taxi into Tortula. If I don’t get more food and coffee, I’m going to be even pissier than I am right now.’

‘I don’t think anyone’s happy about their karma yoga.’

‘Except the lucky fuckers helping in the shop or doing admin. The moment I figured Anisha was making the decisions, I knew we’d be scrubbing toilets.’

‘The other girls in our dorm are, too. Well, Paisley and Tyger are, Khloe-Narcisse and Fearne are cleaning the showers and sinks.’

‘It’s because we’re hot and she can’t trust Mohan. It’s punishment for looking at her boyfriend.’

‘It doesn’t seem very fair.’

‘There’s not much about the ashram that is.’ Jessica fixed Sophia with a look. ‘All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others…’

‘Is that from Animal Farm?’

‘Yup. See that area over there? Where the swamis and people in charge eat their meals?’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘As well as the island’s wi-fi password, they get different food to us.’

‘They do?’

‘And lemons.’

‘Lemons?’

‘I start every morning with a glass of warm water and freshly-squeezed lemon juice. Sets me up for the day. That, and black coffee. Anyway, I asked one of the kitchen staff earlier if I could have one and she shut me down.’ Jessica gesticulated with her cutlery. ‘I tell you, Sophia. I’ll clean frigging toilets all day, but deprive me of lemons while those fuckers get ’em and it’s war.’

‘Already? On day one?’

Jessica threw her head back and cackled. ‘It’ll be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.’

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