Page 125 of The Love Position

One of the men hid his snigger behind a cough.

‘Jessica,’ Swami Vishnu said, articulating each syllable as if they were something bitter he was spitting from his mouth. ‘The yoga sutras were laid down thousands of years before your soul graduated to human form. You are here to learn secrets that go beyond your narrow, reductionist, western belief system, and have chosen to partake in the authentic ashram experience. I suggest you have more of an open mind.’

‘Oh, don’t get me wrong,’ Jessica replied with a smirk. ‘If there’s gonna be a burping competition, I’m the one to beat.’

Swami Vishnu ignored her, turning to Isaac. ‘Hanuman?’

He nodded and cleared his throat again. The last thing he ever wanted to do was burp an entire bellyful of air in front of Sophia.

Keeping his focus on the front row of students who were staring at him with morbid fascination, Isaac swallowed mouthful after mouthful of air until his tummy ached.

Then, before his guru could instruct him otherwise, he turned his back on everyone, went to the edge of the platform and burped it all out towards the bushes.

‘Whoop whoop!’ Jessica cried. ‘Go Hanuman!’

‘Now your turn everyone,’ Swami Vishnu said.

Isaac kept his back to the group, focusing on the dark green leaves as a cacophony of burps, shrieks and giggles erupted behind him.

This was the fun part. No-one was going to like what was coming next, and the thought of forcing anyone to do Vastra Dhauti or Kunjar Kriya made him sick to his stomach.

‘Okay, my children,’ cried Swami Vishnu. ‘Settle down.’

The room quietened, and Isaac turned to face everyone.

‘Now,’ his guru continued, ‘next up is—’

Jessica interrupted his words with an enormous belch. ‘I win!’

‘Vastra Dhauti and Kunjar Kriya,’ Swami Vishnu carried on, as if she didn’t exist. ‘Form into groups of three or four and take a glass and a strip of gauze each, along with one bucket per group.’

Isaac’s feet seemed made of stone, rooting him to the spot as he watched the students follow the instructions, their faces still bright from the comedy of the previous exercise.

‘Take the gauze and knot it at roughly ten centimetre intervals. You, too, Hanuman.’

Heart thudding, Isaac took a strip of gauze, a glass and bucket of water, then did as instructed. The pieces of cotton were only two inches wide but several feet long, and he could tell from the students’ faces that they had no idea what they were meant to do with them.

Swami Vishnu clapped his hands. ‘Wonderful. Now Hanuman will demonstrate Vastra Dhauti followed by Kunjar Kriya.’

Isaac knew that in the next two weeks he was going to go against his guru’s direct orders and remain in the UK with Sophia. Guilt about refusing to do what was asked of him was plaguing his thoughts and dreams.

Right now he wanted to say ‘no’ to demonstrating the kriyas, but didn’t want to defy in public the man who’d done so much for him over the years. He knew Swami Vishnu was already irritated with him after he’d said that the students cleaning the beach needed to rest, then that the brownies should be shared with everyone.

Isaac had done these two kriyas once before and had lived to tell the tale. He could do it again.

‘I’ll show Vastra Dhauti first, then Kunjar Kriya, also known as Vamana Dhauti. Then, if you want—’

‘Everyone will perform the exercises,’ Swami Vishnu interrupted.

Taking a deep breath to fortify himself, Isaac reached forward and soaked the wad of gauze in his bucket of salt water.

‘These kriyas are traditionally used to help with asthma, gastric issues and excess stomach acidity. They cleanse the intestine of impurities or obstructions, improve liver function and remove worms,’ he began, then paused, as every part of his body yelled ‘this is utter nonsense’ at him.

He’d always taken the justification behind these practices with a pinch of salt, but now he could see zero scientific rationale or benefit behind them, as well as huge physical and psychological risk to anyone performing them.

As Isaac brought one end of the gauze strip to his mouth, a sad realisation settled on him that this moment marked the end of a chapter.

He would always teach and practise yoga, but going forward, he would withdraw from such a close association with the Devanandara organisation, and wouldn’t spend at least a month a year at one of their ashrams. Isaac had always believed he would follow his guru for life, but now he was willingly stepping off that path and choosing a different life. With Sophia.

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