Page 146 of Lace 'em Up

“No, baby,” she says gently. “It’s because your dad and I are a team. Because any problem that we’ve faced, we’ve done it together. Do I keep the mental tally of birthdays and holidays and your crazy schedules? Yes. Do I spend a bundle on Amazon every year, making sure appropriate presents arrive? Yes, I do.” She smiles. “But does your dad wrap those presents because I can never make the paper look neat? Yes. And is my gas tank full and my car serviced on the regular? Are my favorite cookies always in the pantry? Does he bring me a coffee in bed every morning he’s home? Yes, to all.” Her hand settles on my arm. “And does he drop everything when I need him—no matter where in the world he is and what time it is and if it’s something big or small? Yes, baby, he does. Because we’ve worked as a team to figure out the things that are important to each other. Because we love each other in a thousand small ways every day. Because he’s my person.”

I inhale.

“And because—” Her voice cracks and I know she’s thinking of Diane again.

“—you’re amazing and Dad knows he needs to bring it so you don’t get smart and leave him?”

She stills, touches my cheek, eyes damp. “See, baby? You may not be perfect, but you pay attention. You’re sensitive and you care and I know you can love Rory as she deserves.” Her fingers flex. “The question is if you’re going to have the courage to allow yourself to be loved in return. Because Rory doesn’t need perfect. She just needs you.”

I just want you to be you.

“I don’t have to be perfect.”

“No, baby.”

“I—”

God, I know that. I guess. It’s just…hard.

But when have I backed down from hard?

I can do the work, put the time in, just like I did to get into the league—even though I’m by far from the best player around.

I can do this.

I can love Rory like she deserves.

God knows, loving her is the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

It’s the rest of it, the bullshit in my own head that’s hard.

So…I start there.

“I don’t have to be Dad,” I murmur. “Or Jakob or anyone but me.”

“Right,” she says. “Because you, Kingston Bang, my favorite oldest son?—”

My lips twitch.

“Are perfectly imperfect and lovable, exactly as you are.” She touches my jaw. “There’s give and take in every relationship, baby, and so long as you’re not seeing the other person as the source of all of your problems, and you’re tackling the hard stuff together then things will be okay. And I don’t mean ignoring red flags if someone isn’t right for you?—”

I cough. “Stacy!”

She sighs, narrows her eyes. “—or tries to hurt you. I mean finding that right person for you—” A pointed look. “And occasionally doing it without any help from your well-meaning mother?—”

I snort.

“I mean working through the tough stuff together—the baggage from the past, the present that tries to press in, the future that can sometimes be uncertain.”

My heart squeezes.

Because Rory wants a future with me.

“You can bring the organization, can keep track of important details, can love Rory in all those small ways. And Rory brings her own wonderful parts that help you two work as a unit. Together. You and her against the world. That’s how your father and I survived all these years—even when he thought it was a good idea to get me a vacuum for my birthday.”

I freeze, incredulous. “He what?”

She chuckles. “Rookie mistake, right?” she says. “And in fairness to him, we were young and dumb and just starting out. We hadn’t worked through a lot of the tough stuff yet. My point is that?—”

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