Page 142 of Lace 'em Up

And I find I can’t laugh right now.

Can’t think about how I clearly messed up.

How even though I’m doing the best I can, the people I love still leave me.

Every fucking time.

I can’t face that right now.

I need puppy cuddles and to figure out how to move forward.

I need?—

Footsteps echo toward me.

I need to lock myself in the bedroom and grasp on to a modicum of privacy before Stella sees me fall to pieces.

Faster.

I lift my foot, intending to speed run these stairs as well as I can considering my ribs.

But my toes don’t make it onto the riser.

“Princess.”

The rasped out word has me spinning on a gasp?—

And promptly losing my balance.

I fall backward and…

My white knight saves me again—catching me, cradling me against his chest before he sinks down onto the bottom step with me in his lap. He buries his face in my throat, alternating between curses and apologies. “Fuck, princess, I’m so sorry. Fuck, I’m such an idiot. Fucking hell, I can’t believe I got in my car and drove away. I’m so goddamned sorry. I didn’t mean to leave. I know—I know that was fucked up. It was just like I couldn’t breathe and—fuck, I’m sorry and?—”

I press my finger to his lips. “Stop, honey.” I weave my fingers into his hair, pull gently until his eyes meet mine. “Just stop for a second and breathe.”

His arms tighten, but thankfully he stops talking.

And breathes.

“Good, baby.”

A shaky nod. “I’m a dumbass.”

“Yes,” I say. “You are.” I settle my forehead against his. “But you’re my dumbass.”

Thankfully that has his mouth turning up at the edges, amusement curling through blue eyes. “Knew I was going to freak the fuck out sooner or later, but I was trying not to. I didn’t want—” A shake of his head. “I want to be more than that.”

“I don’t need you to be more.” I lift my head, hold his gaze. “I just want you to be you.”

He looks away.

I cup his jaw. “I love every part of you.”

He winces, smooths a hand down my back. “Sorry you had to be on the receiving end of my freak out.”

Be brave and kind.

I stop, shake my head, try to tease out why my brain is shoving those words into the front of my mind.

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