Page 106 of Lace 'em Up

But my brother is a stubborn fuck.

And he’s nursing a broken heart.

And he’s not going to see reason, no matter what I tell him about Rory, no matter how hard I try to convince him that she’s different.

That she makes me feel different.

Which is why I cut him off.

“Just shut up for a second and listen to me.”

Jakob’s diatribe halts.

And I say words that feel completely wrong?—

“It’s all fake, man.”

Thirty

Rory

It’s all fake, man.

I mean, he’s not wrong.

And it was my idea in the first place.

And it is supposed to be fake.

But…

Ouch.

Because last night, I’d thought…

Well, I know I’m in deep, but I thought that maybe something changed for him too. He’d shared, had listened to me when I shared, and?—

I thought we were becoming something more.

It’s all fake, man.

Fake.

Not real.

I lean back against the wall, hand to my chest, as though that will keep the pieces of my heart together. It’s better I know. Better I have this information. I can continue forward with a clear mind. Keep up the charade, but protect myself while I get back onto my feet.

Even if…some part of me wants it to be different.

Wants it to mean more.

Wants to stay.

Had started thinking of the future he and I could have together, this man who knows almost all of my secrets and hadn’t turned away.

It’s all fake, man.

Right.

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