Page 55 of Alpha's Forbidden Bond

“I know. If you decide to stop us from getting married, I would understand.”

“I haven’t made up my mind yet. And, of course, at the end of the day, the decision will ultimately be left to Sarafina,” he said. “She is her own person, and I have always tried my best to treat her as such. If she wakes up and decides she wants to go forward with the marriage, I will have to find a way to be okay with that. Perhaps, if you and her brother could work out some of your differences and combine efforts on the compound security front, I would feel a bit better.” He raised his eyebrows as if he wanted an answer from me right then, and despite the circumstances, I had to laugh.

“I’m willing to try,” I said. “But?—”

Mr. Morena put a hand up. “I’ll work on Becc. He’s stubborn but he’s not an idiot.” He looked through the open door and exhaled so heavily, his whole body shook. “But perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself. We shall—” He cleared his throat. The sound was wet and devastating. “We shall see how things pan out.” The old man then tucked his chin into his chest and wheeled on by.

Back at the house, Mikeal was sitting in the living room with a defeated look on his face. I took a seat on the couch beside him, and at first, we said nothing to each other. We were both zonked. Honestly, if the silence had dragged on for much longer, there was a chance both of us would’ve fallen asleep right then and there.

After a while, though, he turned to look at me. “I’ve been talking to people all day, but I still haven’t found out who might’ve attacked those kids. Either nobody knows anything, or they are closing ranks and keeping their mouths shut. Or maybe they’ve forgotten. I mean, it was ten years ago.”

“No way they would forget something like that. Do they even know what a huge risk they are taking by closing rank? If I find out that any pack members were protecting this murderer, I will throw them out on their asses, same as him. Or her.”

Mikeal shrugged. “They probably think that’s a bluff, considering how low our numbers are. And to be frank, I don’t think you should be throwing people out that casually, either. Sure, get rid of the kid killer. I agree with you on that. But you have to see things from their perspective. Say it was me, say I was the one who delivered the killing blow—are you saying you wouldn’t cover for me?”

I shifted around on the lumpy couch cushion. It was time Mikeal, and I thought about buying new furniture for this room. “It would depend on how much I knew about the situation. If I thought you did it on purpose, that you killed him without a second thought, then I would give you up. You would deserve whatever the law had in store for you. Mom implemented that rule for a reason, and I’ve always taken it very seriously.”

Mikeal scoffed. “Yeah, well, not everyone is as noble as you.”

“I’m not noble,” I said. “A noble man would never find himself in a situation like this. I’ve been a terrible leader, and all for what? Some fling with a human woman?”

My brother shot me a look.

I frowned back. “What?”

“If you’re going to throw yourself a pity party, that’s fine,” he said. “I’ll attend and maybe even bring along some of my own self-pity. But at least be honest with yourself, otherwise, what’s the point in even talking about all of this? You love Diana, and she loves you, and this thing between the two of you was never just a ‘fling’.”

“I don’t love her.”

“Andreas.”

“I can’t love her,” I corrected myself.

“And why is that?”

“It’s too—dangerous. Caring about her in the way that I do has made everyone else I love vulnerable, and that’s not fair. I have responsibilities—people who rely on me, and I’ve been taking that for granted. But not anymore. That’s why I sent Diana away and told her that we could never be together.”

Mikeal whistled under his breath. “Geez. How’d she take that?”

“As well as could be expected.”

“And how are you doing?”

I looked down at my lap and said nothing. Mikeal nodded and clapped his hand on my shoulder. “Now probably isn’t the time for me to try and give you advice. I’m so tired I’m not even sure I can see straight. Still, I’ll say this—I’d never seen you as happy as you were the last few weeks. In all the years we’ve spent living in this house together, ever since you met Diana, I have seen this whole new side of you that has never shown through before. I know you were also stressed, and you had a lot on your mind during that time, but I don’t know. There was something so—so alive about you lately. Like you finally found something that actually excited you in life. I’m not sure that’s worth giving up for anything.”

The words lingered in the air between us, and when I didn’t respond, Mikeal pushed himself up to his feet.

“Just think about it,” he said. “Make sure you know what you’re doing. Oh—and get some sleep, for god’s sake. You look like an actual corpse, so if your plan is to try and convince Sarafina that she should still marry you, you’ll need to get rid of those bags under your eyes first.”

I smiled weakly. “Yeah… I guess a rest would do me some good.”

“I envy you.” He headed for the front door.

“You’re not calling it a day? I thought you just said you were so tired that you couldn't even see straight.”

“I’ll get some sleep in a bit. I’ve got a few more people to talk to, then I’ll come back around and check on the guest of honor—make sure nobody tried to smother Mr. Kingsley in his sleep.”

I rubbed my eyes as I stood. “Don’t tell anyone I said this, but there’s a part of me that sort of wishes they would. At least then I wouldn’t have to be the one who decided his fate.”

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