Page 9 of Unveiled

He laughs like I said something funny, but I don’t see his joke. When he realizes I’m looking at him with confusion, he stops laughing and explains. “You won’t be staying in that room, Ainsley. You’ll be staying in my room, in my bed, with me. Where you belong.”

“You sound just like Carlos,” I say under my breath, not caring if he hears me. It’s the truth, after all.

The monster stops, pulling me back with him. He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. Blue eyes stare back at me with anger, the skull mask making him look that much scarier.

“You can make me feel like shit for what happened all you want, but you will not compare me to that piece of trash. I’m not beating you and forcing you to sleep next to me so I can control you. I’m not forcing you to earn certain privileges, or treating you like a slave,” he growls, not releasing eye contact the whole time. “I’m doing what I know we both want. You’re staying in my bed because I can’t stand knowing that you’re down the hall instead of right next to me. You’re staying in my bed because last night, the sound of my voice was the only thing that calmed your nightmares. I’m not doing it to make you obey or monitor you every second of every day, I’m doing it because I want you in my bed. Don’t you dare ever compare me to him again.”

By the end of his lecture, I have to force my eyes away from the fire in his as shame fills me. He’s right, and I know it. The monster never forced me into anything or tried to control me, he only ever pushed me when he thought I was ready and wouldn’t admit it to myself. Carlos abused me, manipulated me, and treated me like an animal.

I didn’t know he stayed with me last night, though. It’s not much of a surprise, but I’m surprised he knows about my nightmares. I woke up rested this morning, feeling better than I have in months, and I couldn’t remember having a nightmare. Was it really him that kept it away?

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I do my best to keep my eyes cast down.

“Look at me, Ainsley,” he commands. I hesitate for too long, showing him a weakness, but eventually, I meet his gaze. “I’m never going to be the one to hurt you. Whatever it takes to make sure you’re safe, I’ll do it. If anything ever happens again, you need to know that I’ll work day and night until you’re safe again.”

I know it in my heart, but it’s the thought of something happening again that absolutely terrifies me.

“If you really don’t want to sleep in my bed, then you don’t have to. But, if you’re sleeping in that guest room, then so am I. I can’t listen to you crying out for me in your sleep when I can make you feel better. You understand that, right?”

I nod, a tear slipping down my cheek at his words. I forgot how much he took everything to heart with me. He blames himself for everything, and lately, I’ve been blaming him for everything, too.

“Come on, let’s get going,” he mumbles as he releases my chin and starts walking. I walk with him, not wanting to be pulled behind him again. There’s an understanding between us right now. He understands why I’m pushing him away, and I understand that my safety is his priority.

When we get to his car, he throws my suitcase in the backseat. To my surprise, I don’t take the distraction as an opportunity to run. My mind is still reeling from the intense conversation we had, and even if I ran, I would be too distracted to escape.

The monster holds open the passenger door for me, and I climb in quietly, not arguing with him. I just have to get through a week. He wouldn’t keep me away from my classes again, not after I had to fight with the school just to stay enrolled after disappearing mid-semester.

I can make it through a week. I’ll be nice and act like we’re getting along, and when the week is over and I still want nothing from him, he’ll back off. He’ll have to.

The car ride is silent, and the tension in the car is thick with our last conversation looming over us. I’m wondering how he can drive safely with a mask on his face when he suddenly speaks up.

“I’m sorry.”

Two words that I didn’t expect to hear from him, and certainly not as he’s forcing me to go back to his house and stay with him.

“I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that,” he explains. “You have every right to be upset with me after what you endured. But, Ainsley, you don’t even know what’s been going on since you walked away from me. You don’t understand the way I’ve beat myself up, day and night, since I lost you.”

I don’t even know what to say, but I know I need to acknowledge his words somehow. “I -”

“Stop,” he says, cutting me off. “You need to hear this. I’ve spent the last three months destroying the Guerra cartel and hunting down anyone that was involved in your kidnapping. Day and night, I’ve hunted them down. I go days without sleep now. When I’m not working to get revenge for you, I’m sitting in silence, feeling like the worst person alive. I blame myself for all of it. Every single thing you told me about what happened is a weight on my chest I can’t get off. You can hate me for what happened all you want, but I hate myself enough for both of us.”

“I don’t hate you,” I tell him quickly, wanting to get that admission out of the way. I should probably let him think I hate him. Maybe then he would leave me alone, but I don’t want to lie to him. Not after what he just admitted to me.

“Then why are you still pushing me away?” He sounds hurt, defeat clear in his voice.

“I don’t hate you, but I can’t love you, either,” I admit in a soft voice, knowing it’ll be hard for him to hear.

Instead of being hurt, he perks up, something in my words making him feel better. “Haven’t I told you? I love a challenge, little one.”

We drive the last few minutes in silence. I’m not in the mood to talk, and he won’t push me. When we arrive at the house, he pulls my luggage out of the backseat and we walk inside together.

“I’m going to put this upstairs, and then you can decide what you want to do until you’re tired,” the monster tells me as he makes his way to the steps, carrying my suitcase with him.

“Actually,” I say, stopping him before he goes upstairs. “I think I’ll just go to bed. I’m pretty tired, and it’s been a long day.”

The monster nods, accepting my decision as he climbs up the steps. When he reaches the guest room, he stops, giving me the chance to stay in there if that’s what I want.

I push past him, rounding the corner to his bedroom. He stays behind me, letting me lead the way so he doesn’t push me too hard.

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