Page 89 of Unveiled

“Because I’m going to find you, Ainsley. No matter how scared you are, you know that’s true. You think I brought you back to me and have been trying to put a ring on your finger just so you can slip through my fingers? Not happening, baby. Just remember whose name is carved into your back. He can try to sell you all he wants, but you’ll always belong to me.”

My head falls onto my arms as I squeeze my eyes shut. His words send much needed hope through me, especially because I know that’s exactly what Cain would say to me. I belong to him, and no one else can ever have me. He’s claimed me, body, heart, and soul. There’s no changing that.

“Hey. Look at me, little one,” he coaxes me. If he were real, his finger would be under my chin, dragging my head up until I’m looking into his deep blue eyes. Since he’s not, I’m forced to lift my own eyes and create the illusion of those beautiful eyes so they’re sitting in front of me, gazing back at me with adoration.

“I’m scared, Cain,” I admit. Behind all my anger and pain, fear is taking over. Fear of what’s happened to me. Fear of what’s going to happen to me. Fear of more pain. But above all, my biggest fear is never seeing him again.

“You’ve been so strong and brave, baby, I need you to keep doing that. Can you do that for me?” His hand reaches out to stroke the tears falling from my eyes, but it’s like being touched by a ghost. I can see it and imagine what it would feel like, but there’s not an actual sensation to go with it.

“Can I tell you something?”

His eyes soften more as he nods his head, waiting for me to tell him the secret I’ve kept locked up, deep in my heart. It’s been pushed down so deep even I didn’t realize the truth, and it seems like these kinds of truths can only come out once I’m taken from Cain and speaking to the ghost of him.

“I want to marry you,” I admit, watching his eyes for a reaction. My imagination makes him excited and ready to pounce on me, but he stays where he is, letting his eyes express his happiness. He senses the ‘but’ that I haven’t said yet. “I want you to keep asking because I know I’m going to say yes, and to be honest, I don’t know why I haven’t given in yet. I never want to be parted from you again. No man’s touch will ever do for me what your touch does for me. Nobody else can make me so happy and angry at the same time, and no one can fight my stubbornness like you can. I want to marry you, but now I’m afraid I’ll never see you again.”

Cain moves closer to me, as close as he can in such a confined space, and the ghost of his arms wrap around me. He can’t reassure me by telling me what they’re doing to find me, because he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know how close they are, if they’re at a loss on where I am or if they’re going to come bursting through that door any second now. Imaginary Cain only knows what I know, which is why his only response is to pull me into his arms for comfort.

“Does this mean that when I find you, you won’t leave me again?”

Something between a laugh and a sob falls from my lips as his words register in my mind. Leaving him the first time wasn’t as easy as I made it look. If it weren’t for Ethan, I wouldn’t have been able to do it. My waking thoughts were consumed by guilt for hurting him and longing for his touch just one more time. My nightmares were filled with memories of Carlos and the sounds of Cain being shot.

It took weeks for me to feel like myself again, but it was only after I started calling him the monster in my head again. I forced myself to forget the time we had together and remembered him only as the monster that hid in the basement to scare me.

Even if I wanted to try this time, I couldn’t do it. We’ve come too far over the last two weeks, made too much progress to just turn my back on him. He’s the reason for my happiness, even if I want to slap him sometimes, and without him, I would never know love again.

“If you find me, I won’t leave you,” I promise him. Wishing I could go back in time and change my mind is futile, but at least I can make sure I don’t make the same mistake twice.

Chapter 37

The Monster

“If you think you’re going to keep me this time, you’re delusional,” her spiteful voice spits at me.

My teeth snap together as my jaw flexes. No matter how hard I try to ignore her words, they filter through every wall I put up. After all, she’s just a figment of my imagination, a way for me to punish myself for losing Ainsley all over again.

As if I didn’t learn my lesson the first time. I fought tooth and nail to get her back to me, even waiting months until I knew it was time to make her mine again. No time with her will ever be long enough, but this round, our time together was even shorter. I’m not ready for it to be over. It can’t be over.

But I can’t expect her to forgive me this time. This is the second time I’ve forced her to come into my world, and because I can’t let her go, she’s enduring hell all over again.

I wish I could switch places with her. Endure whatever torture she’s being submitted to, take away any pain she feels and bring it onto myself.

We have gotten no leads. Every property under my father’s names was searched, as well as the list of abandoned properties in the area. Each one came up empty. There were no clues in Guerra’s warehouse, either. We’re at a dead end, and it’s all my fault.

“When I leave you again, I hope it hurts you as much as it hurts me to know that you couldn’t protect me.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, not really expecting my imagination to care about my words. No matter how sorry I am, it doesn’t fix what’s happened.

Ainsley scoffs in my imagination, an angry, mocking sound that makes me flinch. My Ainsley never talks to me like this, but then again, she’s too kind to hurt me. This Ainsley is unfiltered and will tell me whatever I deserve to hear, even if it hurts me.

I step out of the shower, hoping to escape her spiteful words with a change of scenery, but she just follows me as I walk to the mirror and wipe the steam away.

“What do you think is happening? Do you think I’ve already been sold? Am I being raped this time? I’m probably being raped. Some man looking to hurt you because of who you are is probably ripping into me every chance he gets and loving that he could take me from you. Meanwhile, I’m probably crushed under his body weight, covered in his sweat and wishing you were there to save me. How does that make you feel?”

“Like fucking shit!” I scream, wanting to lash out at anyone I possibly can, even if it’s the Ainsley in my imagination. Even if it’s the only version of Ainsley I can be near.

She smirks at me through the mirror, satisfied that she got a reaction out of me, and that’s when I see it. Her name, carved between my hips, calling to me like it did every day that she was lost to me.

“You want to do it again, don’t you?” she asks from somewhere behind me, her voice much softer this time. This is what she’s been driving me to do. “You deserve it. You should feel pain, just like I am right now. I want you to bleed, because wherever I’m hiding, I’m bleeding because of you. You don’t get to escape this just because you’re not the one being tortured.”

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