Page 90 of Mike

They could start out slowly if he was hesitant; give him time to catch up if it wasn’t something he was sure about, yet. And in the meantime, she’d find an adequate job. Not waitressing at a watering hole, but something in one of the nearby communities that would satisfy her need for action. Then she’d make herself a pain-in-the-ass-constant in Mike’s day-to-day life until he cried uncle.

As soon as he relented, and came around to returning her feelings, she’d think about trying for a job in the Portland DEA office, then they might contemplate moving in together. Huge steps for both of them.

After that…?

Ah, shit.

Did Mike want more kids?

His two were already practically grown, so would starting fresh be a hard “no” for him? Joe had never imagined wanting to have babies before, but now her body was crying out to make little Mikes. And considering how beautiful his two current children were, any offspring they created together would be freaking adorable. But…

If Mike said no, it wouldn’t be a game changer. It would make her a little sad, but on the bright side, Joelle figured she’d be a stellar step-mom. She had skills. She hadn’t been able to prove herself to the family yet, but she was a five-star cook, a consummate camper, and an equal opportunity sports fan. Three things Mike and his kids—from what she’d learned—liked.

So there really wasn’t a problem.

“You have a funny look on your face,” Mike told her when they stopped, putting a finger under her chin, and examining her eyes. He frowned. “And a huge ass bruise on your head. Are you sure you’re not concussed?”

“Not in the least,” she assured him. She wasn’t going to bring up her “family” questions, but she took a deep breath, getting ready to spill her romantic feelings, instead. “I, uh, have something I want to tell you.”

“Nope. Me first,” he growled, but not in his normal bear-like way. This was more of a wobbly rumble, like someone had temporarily declawed him.

Joe wrinkled her nose, but gave in because it seemed important to him. And, yup, it was way easier to let him talk than to get three little words to come out of her mouth. Mike taking charge gave Joe more time to gather her courage. Not that she was normally reticent to speak her mind, but this was…momentous. Other than to her immediate family, she’d never uttered the word “love” before.

Joe nodded for Mike to go ahead.

“I’ve been lying to you,” he finally divulged.

Oh, crap.

Joelle’s body nearly crumbled. Mike was about to tell her he wasn’t feeling their togetherness the way she had been; that she’d be better off taking a hike than wasting her time with him for what had been a brief, physical fling.

Her insides hurt as she responded.

“How so?” Okay. They were the hardest two words she’d ever had to utter.

“I… I was leading you to believe that we were enjoying what might be a long-term physical relationship.” Mike looked pained.

Fuck. So they were done.

Loving him despite his retreat, Joe did the brave thing. She stepped up to the plate so Mike didn’t have to feel awful about dumping her. She’d bravely internalize enough pain for both of them during this awkward encounter.

“I get it, Mike. I do. What we had was fun, but good times always have an expiration date. So, once we put Lester away, if you want me out of your jurisdiction posthaste, I’ll be gone. No complaints, no regrets.”

There. She’d said it. And she wouldn’t fall apart.

Don’t lose your shit. Don’t lose your shit, she chanted inside her head.

“What? No!” Mike looked appalled. “That’s not what I meant. It’s the physical relationship part I’m taking back.”

Joe blinked, not understanding. “Huh?”

“Shit. I’m doing a piss-poor job of this.”

He picked up both her hands in his and held on tightly. “I don’t want a simple physical relationship with you. I don’t want something surface that doesn’t include our hearts.”

Joe’s breath caught. What was he saying?

Mike’s face reflected pain, and hope.

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