Page 41 of A Forever Kind of Rancher

“I know she does,” he said. “But just... You weren’t there. You didn’t see her marriage. Okay? I did.”

“Yeah. You were friends with her husband. If you hate the guy so much then why—”

“I didn’t hate him. Not everything about him. When we were hanging out on the rodeo circuit, he was a good guy. The thing is, he kind of taught me how to have a good time. I needed that. You know how things were after...after Buck left. I had to take on a lot. And it was heavy. And I threw myself into the rodeo after that because I knew it was so important to Dad. I found some things there that I didn’t expect to. But Daniel is a fun guy. And he kind of gave me something to look forward to. He taught me how to enjoy what had felt like an obligation before. There were good things about him. But when he married Wendy, things did change.” And he left out the fact that a huge part of that was the way Boone felt about Wendy. From the moment he’d first seen her. There was no way Daniel could ever have been good enough for her. Even if he’d been perfectly good after all.

It was just that he hadn’t been. So that combined with everything else made it kind of an impossible situation.

“Our friendship has had some cracks in it for a while. And in the end, I chose her. I was always going to choose her. I...” He realized what he’d just said.

“How long have you had a thing for her?”

“Too long. But the timing is bad.”

“Word of advice. The timing is always bad.”

“No, it really is. And I’m... I’m not someone who just hopes because he wants something. Not anymore.”

“Boone, listen. I know... I know Sophia—”

“It was a lesson, Jace. When an illness is terminal, hoping for the best is stupid. It’s not charming.” He took a drink. “It’s been a long time. But I changed. I know better. And I can see clearly, without...without being a blind optimist. The timing is bad.”

Jace shook his head. “I get where you’re coming from. But when it comes to relationships, the timing is always bad.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Because at some point, caring about somebody means getting over yourself. And that is a really hard thing to do.”

He could understand what his brother was saying. But caring about Wendy had always meant denying himself. It had always meant caring more about her than about him. Of course it had.

He’d always been clear on what loving Wendy meant.

He could care, but he couldn’t have her.

And if anything, it just reinforced what he had to do. And that was let her go at the end of all this.

Because that was what caring about her meant.

It meant not being like Daniel. Not holding her to him when it wasn’t right. When it wasn’t the best situation for her. That was what love was.

It was sacrificial.

So there.

“Well, that’s the way I feel about her,” he said. “Like my feelings can’t be first.”

“Great. Just make sure you don’t decide for her what her feelings are. Okay?”

“Yeah.”

Jace raised his hand, and Cara brought over a couple of beer bottles.

“Do you have a designated driver, Boone?” she asked.

“You have my permission to put me in a cab if I have too many.”

“Good. I have to look out for you. You’re my brother now after all.”

It was weird, the way the family kept expanding. Especially after being so conscious of the contractions in their family for all those years.

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