Page 34 of Offside Angel

He tries to smile, but I can see how much it still hurts.

I curl against his side and rest my head on his chest. “They’re missing out.”

“I can understand why they did it. They had to protect themselves.” He pauses. “Kind of like what I tried to do when I found out about you and your dad.”

Toxic.

Abusive.

Is that what our relationship was like?

I lied to him, but it was because I wanted to keep him out of my mess.

Is that how he really feels?

“You’re right,” Zane continues, “that my life would be less complicated if you weren’t in it. My life would be completely uncomplicated if I sat in a windowless room by myself for the rest of it. If I pushed away any person who ever tried to get close to me and spent every day alone, I’d never have another ‘complication.’” He brings our hands to his mouth and presses a kiss to the back of my hand. “I also wouldn’t have you.”

A relieved sob bursts out of me, and I bury it against his ribs.

“My family pushed me away because of the choices I made—but you didn’t do anything to end up in an abusive home and have to fight for your life. The choices you made, Mira, were to rise above all of that bullshit and, somehow, still be the best fucking person I’ve ever met. You’re a miracle,” he whispers against the crown of my head. “And I was an idiot for ever letting you go.”

New truths pile up in my mind.

I love this man.

I never want to leave him.

Zane Whitaker is the love of my life and there’s no coming back.

“Zane, I…” The confession sits on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t want to hold him here if it isn’t what he really wants. “My truth is that I’m positive I’m going to mess this up. Whatever this is?—”

“A family. We’re a family.”

Tears stream down my cheeks and puddle on his bare chest. I wipe them away. “I’ve never had one of those.”

“Yes, you have. With me and Aiden.” Zane tugs on my arm until I’m sitting up. He curls a large hand around my jaw. “Aiden and I had no clue how to be a family until you came along. You were the glue that held us together before we even realized we needed it, Mira. We wouldn’t have survived without you.”

“You would have!” I cry out. “Look at your friends, Zane. As soon as you let them in and told them about Aiden, they jumped to help you. You’ve had a family for years; you just didn’t realize it.”

“Because I’d forgotten what it felt like to let someone get close. Until you.”

First, he tore down my walls. Now, he’s going straight for my mushy, exposed heart.

This isn’t a fair fight.

I growl in frustration. “You keep saying that I did all of this, but I didn’t. You’re the one who saved me in that bathroom. You gave me a job and a place to stay. You’re the one who introduced me to your friends and made me part of your life. I didn’t do anything.”

“You did.” He takes my face in his hands. “Everything in my life was stable, which was nice for a while. Then Aiden showed up and gave me something to live for. Then you showed up and…” His blue eyes are searing as he studies my face. He traces over every line of me, a small smile pulling on his lips. “You gave me something to lose.”

“Sleep?” I tease, my throat thick. “Your sanity?”

“Partnership. Excitement. Passion.” He kisses each of my cheeks and my forehead as he checks off his list. Then he hovers over my mouth, his nose brushing against mine. “Love.”

My heart aches and billows and expands in every direction at once. I’ve spent years telling myself I’d never get to have this. When Zane told me to leave, it confirmed all of my worst fears and theories about myself.

I don’t know how to turn that part of me off.

I don’t know how to be with him without hurting him.

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