Page 32 of Offside Angel

We fall into a heady rhythm. My head is a fucking mess, but I can’t think about anything else when I’m inside of her.

Mira pulses around me, whimpering that she’s close. “Just like that,” she moans, clawing at my lower back. “Please don’t stop.”

I slip farther over her with every thrust. She kisses my chest as I grip the top of the headboard and offer everything I have to hear her cry my name.

When she gasps against my skin, her pussy clenched tight around me, I finally let myself release.

I pour into her until we’re both breathless and spent.

“Sorry,” I pant when I’m done, rolling off of her and collapsing into the mattress. For the first time in days, I feel like I could sleep.

“It’s not your fault,” she says softly. “It’s mine.”

I was telling her sorry for waking her up in the middle of the night and fucking her. How is any of that her fault?

“What are you talking about?”

Mira pulls my shirt down to cover herself, but I can see her chin wobbling. “The nightmares and you not sleeping—I did this. I brought all of this shit into your life, and I’m so sorry, Zane.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

I reach for her, but she slides away and scurries back against the headboard. “You told me to leave, and I-I didn’t. I stayed around town. Part of me secretly hoped you’d come find me. But it was selfish. I should’ve left town right away and changed my name. Now, you and Aiden might be targets and you’re so stressed you can’t even sleep. I brought this into your life and?—”

“I had a nightmare that you were dead,” I blurt, if only to cut off the nonsense she’s spewing. “I had a nightmare that I went to your apartment, but instead of finding it empty, you were dead. That is why I was upset. Because I thought I’d lost you.”

I roll over to look at her and Mira is staring at me. Her eyes shimmer in the dark.

“You think you brought all of this bad stuff into my life, but… The only reason I’ve never felt like this before is because—” I consider each word carefully, measuring them out to be sure they’re right. “—I didn’t have anyone I cared about. It’s because I’ve never felt for anyone what I feel about you.”

I thought I loved Paige, but it was attraction mixed with getting high and the kind of delusion you need to feel like you’re on top of the fucking world while your entire life is crumbling around you. Our relationship—with the massive exception of Aiden—was one long accident happening in slow motion.

But Mira is my choice. She’s what I want.

“I love you.”

“I wish you wouldn’t.” Mira reaches for my hand, squeezing my fingers on top of the comforter. “It would be so much easier if you didn’t. It would be better if you cared less.”

I tug her close and throw my arm around her waist. She tucks her face into my neck, still sniffling.

We fit together too well for this to be wrong.

“You’ve never said it back,” I point out. She stiffens and I add quickly, “You don’t need to. It’s okay if you aren’t sure. I’ll wait.”

We have all the time in the world.

“You broke up with me a couple weeks ago,” she says softly.

“I told you it was a mistake.”

“I know.” She blows out a breath. “I know. But part of me is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m waiting for you to change your mind now that you know everything. If I have to leave again, if you decide you don’t want me, I d-don’t know how I’ll—if I’ll survive it.”

I can swear to her a thousand different times in a million different ways that I don’t want her to leave, but I can’t make her believe it.

What I can do is let her into every corner of my rotten heart so she can see the truth for herself.

“I have an idea.” I sit up, leaning us both against the headboard. “Let’s play a game.”

13

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