Page 193 of Offside Devil

I shake my head. “I don’t need it. This wasn’t?—”

“It’s your last check,” he says, forcing it into my hand. “Take it. Wherever you’re going, you’ll need it.”

The tethers keeping me here are snapping one by one, and I’m not ready. For the first time in years, my instinct isn’t to run; it’s to stay. I want to stay.

But I can’t.

I sniffle. “Can you tell Aiden that I?—”

“Mira?”

No. God, no. Please no.

Aiden pokes his head out of the hallway, his brow furrowed. Then he sees me and lights up. “Mira! You’re back!”

Aiden throws his arms around my legs, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to walk out of this house now.

I drop to my knees and hold him close.

He’s so busy telling me about the last week of staying home with Uncle Owen that he doesn’t even notice I’m crying.

“I missed you.” He squeezes my neck.

“I missed you, too,” I whisper, kissing his silky blonde hair.

I’m going to miss you so much more.

There are so many things I want to say, but I can’t put my burdens on a four-year-old’s shoulders. Here, with Zane, Aiden gets to be a kid. He gets to be happy.

I want that for him more than I want anything else.

Which is exactly why I can’t stay.

Aiden frowns. Gently, he touches my cheek. “Sometimes, I cry, too.”

It’s one of the first things I ever said to him after I found him crying in the hall closet. The tenderness in his tiny voice cracks my busted-up heart in two.

I kiss his face and squeeze him in a hug, willing myself to stop crying. I don’t want him to remember me like this.

I’m not sure how long I hold him, but Zane clears his throat. “Mira has to go, buddy.”

Aiden pulls back, and I barely resist the urge to clutch him even tighter, to cling to this final moment for as long as I can. “Where are you going?”

I could tell him the truth, but why start now?

“I’m going on an adventure.” I smile even as my eyes fill with tears.

“Oooh. If there’s a mountain, can I climb it, too?”

I give him a watery laugh. “I don’t know if that would be very safe. But if I climb a mountain, I’ll send you a postcard, okay?”

“Do you know my address?” He twirls around, grabbing Zane’s hand. “Daddy, give her our address.”

“She knows our address.” Zane ruffles Aiden’s hair and glances up at me, just for a second. Long enough that I know this isn’t what either of us wants. “Mira knows where to find us… if she needs anything.”

78

MIRA

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