Page 179 of Offside Devil

“Don’t do that! Don’t act like I’m manipulating you or something. I’ve been honest with you about?—”

“About nothing!” I cut in. “You haven’t told me a goddamn fucking thing. No one knows who you are, Mira!”

Her lips are pressed into a flat line. “I was honest with you from the beginning about wanting my privacy. I never made you any promises, Zane.”

“No, because you can take care of yourself, right? That’s what you’re always saying. ‘I can take care of myself.’” I close the distance between us until she’s flat against the pale, cinderblock walls. “Is that why you were down to your last dollar before we met? Is that why you lived in a fucking trash pile with no furniture?”

Angry red crawls up her neck and stains her cheeks, but her eyes are glassy. Tears pool along her bottom lid, catching in her long lashes.

I shove down whatever sympathy she’s trying to muster out of me. “You didn’t make me any promises because you knew from the beginning that you were going to take my money and run. Was fucking you all over the house I let you live in a bonus, or did you plan that out, too? Maybe if the pussy was good enough, I’d let you stay.”

Mira’s hand cracks across my face. Truth be told, I barely feel the pain.

Tears are rolling down her cheeks. “Fuck you, Zane.”

I’m distantly aware of the singed outline of her hand on my cheek. “Too late for that.”

She stares at me for a second. Our eyes meet and I swear she can see every twisted thought in my head.

Then she leans into Aiden’s room and grabs her purse from beside the door. She rubs at her face, but the tears keep coming.

I’m doing the right thing. I repeat the words over and over to myself, waiting for them to stick. Waiting for the hole in my chest to stop expanding and swallowing up everything else.

She takes a step and stops, half-turning towards me. “Can you tell Aiden that I’m sorry? Can you tell him I didn’t want—” A sob catches in her throat. She clears it away. “Can you tell him I love him?”

She does love him. I know that.

He loves her, too.

This is going to break him.

It’s all my fault.

I’m doing the right thing.

I’m a father.

I’m a failure.

I’m torn between opposite ends of some self-loathing spectrum and all I can do is shake my head. “I won’t make you any promises. Just like you wouldn’t do for me.”

71

ZANE

Daniel takes one step into the condo and immediately takes two steps back.

“It’s worse than I thought.” His eyes are wide as he pans from the living room covered in action figures, Legos, and unfinished puzzles, to the countertop littered with old pizza boxes and takeout containers.

I drag him through the door and slam it shut behind him. “I’ve gone a few days without tidying. If you’re going to be an asshole about it, you can leave.”

“I bet you’d like that.”

“I would,” I reply without an ounce of guilt. “I haven’t been ignoring your calls because I’m dying for company.”

Daniel holds up his hands in surrender. “You’re lashing out. That’s fine. Taylor told me to expect that. She’s dealing with the same kind of emotional rollercoaster at her apartment, too.”

I want to ask if he’s talking about Mira. Is she staying with Taylor?

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