Page 173 of Offside Devil

I slap a smile on my face that I hope says something along the lines of, Fuck you very much. “He works hard and usually isn’t here in the middle of the afternoon. Maybe call and schedule with him next time.”

Peter’s lip curls, but Jodie just smiles. “There won’t be too many more of these. Zane is almost through his custodial trial period.”

“There are still two more required meetings.” Peter might as well be holding a knife to my throat. He’s treating this process like a hostage situation.

Jodie leans in, voice low. “They’re mostly a formality. Especially when a placement is going as well as Aiden’s is here with the two of you. He’s thriving.”

I’m so relieved I could cry. But stable, dependable guardians don’t uncontrollably weep as they show people to the door. At least, I don’t think they do. Then again, what do I really know about stable, dependable guardians?

Instead, I open the door and usher them both out with a friendly smile. “Until next time, then.”

When Zane comes home an hour later, the weirdness from last night has burned away in sheer excitement. I try to wait in the kitchen, but I’m bouncing from foot to foot and I accidentally find my way to the entryway.

Zane opens the door and stops, frowning. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” I say it a bit too loudly and have to force myself back down to normal volume. “Everything is going perfectly… according to CPS.”

Zane drops his duffel on the floor with a thud. “Morris was here?”

“With Jodie. I’m starting to wonder if every other time he’s come around has been an official visit or not. Because they kept things very professional today. They talked to Aiden for a few minutes and then?—”

Zane takes a half-step closer. “They talked to Aiden?”

“Y-yeah. Just for a few minutes. It’s part of the process. Last time, Peter talked to me. This time, they wanted to speak with Aiden and?—”

“You let them speak to my four-year-old without me present?” he growls. “What were you thinking?”

I have no idea what I was thinking.

In the last hour, I managed to convince myself that maybe this would solve everything. Things are a mess with me and Zane, but he’s going to be able to keep Aiden. Just a few more visits and no one will be able to take Zane’s son away from him.

Somehow, I thought I could deliver the good news and… what? Zane would scoop me up and spin me around in a hug? Maybe we’d order a celebratory dinner? Fall into bed together and have celebratory, multi-orgasmic sex? Potentially get celebratorily married and live celebratorily ever after?

I’m an idiot for ever hoping for any of that.

This doesn’t change a damn thing between us.

I swallow down tears for the dozenth time today. “It was a surprise visit. That’s part of the deal. I didn’t think I needed to tell you because?—”

“Because you don’t tell me anything else.”

“Hey! That’s not—” I take a deep breath. “I would never keep anything from you when it comes to Aiden. He’s your son, Zane. I want what’s best for him—what’s best for both of you.”

“Then maybe you should leave.”

The words hit like bullets in my chest. I can’t breathe from the force of them.

Zane drags a hand through his hair. His throat bobs, and I think, He didn’t mean that. I think, He’s going to grab my hand and apologize.

I think, Please.

Instead, he pivots and kicks his duffel bag as hard as he can. I jolt back as the bag flies across the room and slams into the back of the kitchen island. I stare at it, that black, lifeless lump, too scared to move.

“Whatever is happening here isn’t good for Aiden,” Zane growls, flinging a hand towards the bag as proof. “I can’t—I won’t—Fuck, I’ve done a life of secrets before, Mira. I’ve done it and I hated it and I won’t do it again.”

Zane is right. I can’t even argue with him.

This isn’t good for Aiden. I’m not good for Aiden.

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