Page 162 of Offside Devil

“That’s why Mira and I make such a good pair,” Taylor says. “Mira looks like she would kill you?—”

Mira almost chokes on her wine.

“—but she’s a teddy bear with a soft, gooey center.”

“Not true,” Mira mutters half-heartedly.

Taylor carries on. “Whereas I look like a doll, but I’d actually kill you. It’s called ‘balance.’”

“Z and I have that, too,” Daniel says. “I’m the brains and the brawn and the charm and the sexual prowess and the?—”

“What the fuck is left for me?” I snap.

“The looks, obviously.” Daniel reaches over the table to pat my cheek. “The fact you couldn't figure that out is why I’m the brains, sweetheart.”

I slap his hand away. “You two make a beautiful, unbearable couple.”

Taylor raises her glass in a toast. “To us!”

The bank vault might be windowless, but it’s nice. Flickering candles line the long table and a heavy crystal chandelier hangs threateningly over our heads.

“This double date is going a lot better than our last one, Mimi,” Taylor muses.

Mira’s eyes go wide. “No. Not this story, Tay.”

Daniel shakes Taylor’s shoulders. “Out with it. You have no choice now.”

“You totally have a choice,” Mira retorts. “Don’t give into peer pressure. Chicks before dicks.”

Taylor waves off Daniel’s protests. “Easy, boys. Mira is just lashing out because she doesn’t want you both to know her sordid dating history.”

I lean in, my nose brushing the shell of her ear. “What secrets are you hiding, Mira?”

I mean it to sound teasing, but her face pales. She pastes on a smile, but it’s thin. “Taylor is drawing it out, but it wasn’t a big deal. I set up a double date with a guy I met in a dark—I’d like to highlight that point again: it was very dark—club. And when we met up the next night, he was?—”

“Fifty-eight years old!” Taylor explodes, already cackling. “And the friend he brought for me was sixty-one!”

“But they were really fit!” Mira counters. “With soft lighting, he didn't look old. He just looked leathery, like he tanned a lot or something.”

Daniel’s eyes are as wide as I’ve ever seen them. “Did you finish the date?”

“Of course we did.” Taylor pshaws him away like it wasn’t even a question. “They got the senior discount, so we ate like queens.”

“Even though they were old enough to be your fathers! How old is your dad, Mira?” Daniel asks.

I don’t even have time to register that Daniel is asking about Mira’s abusive father at what’s supposed to be a casual dinner before Mira blurts out, “I don’t have a dad. I was raised by a single mom.”

I frown. That’s not at all what she told me.

It’s not like I expect her to lay her childhood trauma on the table for us all to pick through over dinner, but outright lying seems like a weird move.

Even weirder, I look to Taylor—and she doesn’t look surprised at all. She’s nodding sympathetically. “It’s why Mira is so drawn to me. She’s attracted to strong, independent women. I'm a motherly figure to her.”

“Holy shit! What if that guy was your dad?” Daniel chortles. “You didn’t… you know… with him, did you?”

“Ladies don’t bang and babble!” Taylor slaps his arm. Then she concedes, “They also don’t have sex with guys who need their steaks blended for them. So no, those gentlemen did not get the pleasure of our naked company.”

Daniel and Taylor slip into a quieter conversation, but Mira won’t even look at me. She keeps her eyes trained on her wine glass, and I don’t know what I’d say even if she did look at me.

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