Page 116 of Offside Devil

“Mom!” Jalen yells. “We’re ready for a snack.”

Jemma laughs and checks the time on her phone. “What did I tell you? Twenty-seven minutes and they’re inside asking for snacks. I can see the future.”

She was also right that the boys wouldn’t leave us alone again for the rest of the evening. The next few hours are spent chasing them around the house while they move from room to room, leaving chaos in their wake.

When night falls, I offer to stay and help clean up, but Aiden and Jalen are both swaying on their feet.

“I’d rather leave the clean-up until tomorrow and get them to B-E-D,” she demurs, eyes wide.

We make plans for another playdate and Jemma and Aiden wave from the door as Aiden and I load into Evan’s SUV.

By the time we get back to the condo, Aiden is half-asleep on my shoulder. Evan carries him upstairs for me and discreetly checks the condo. He says he has to “use the restroom,” but we both know he doesn’t need to poke his head into every room in the house before going pee.

I don’t mention it because I’m sure it was an order from Zane.

Because he wants to make sure his son is safe, I remind myself. It has nothing to do with me.

I help get Aiden into pajamas and don’t even bother pulling out a book. He isn’t going to make it past the first page. Instead, I sit next to him, stroking his dirty blonde hair.

His eyelids are heavy, but he still looks up at me with those baby blues. “I miss my dad.”

“He misses you, too, bud. He texted earlier and we’re going to video chat with him first thing in the morning. As soon as you wake up.”

He scooches closer and rests his cheek on my stomach. “He’s going to come back?”

“Of course he is. He’ll be back at the end of the week.”

“You promise?” He lifts his head to look at me and I hate the fear in his eyes. I hate that he knows what it feels like to have someone you love leave and never come back.

I want to take it away from him. I want to bundle up all the pain he’s ever felt and carry it instead.

I take his hand in mine and squeeze. “I promise you that your dad is coming back, bud. Your dad will never leave you. He loves you more than anything.”

As Aiden falls asleep, his hand still in mine, I realize how easy it would be for me to love him more than anything, too.

It’s like a little switch in my chest. One flick and I could give everything I have to the Whitaker men. Both of them.

I lie there, holding his hand and contemplating whether to let myself flip that switch for a long time. Long enough that Aiden is deep asleep by the time I finally slide out of his bed and close his bedroom door behind me.

And when Zane texts me, not to ask how Aiden is doing, but to see if I had fun talking to Jemma, I don’t respond.

Sooner or later, I’m going to have to leave.

There’s no reason to make it any harder than it’s already going to be.

46

ZANE

“I think I missed the cutoff for children’s therapy by about fifteen years.”

Dr. Turner smiles at me with the same patient expression she was wearing when I first walked in. “I’m actually a family therapist. I narrowed my focus to children, but when the need arises, I speak with parents, as well.”

I snort. “You think I need this?”

“You think Aiden needs this,” she replies evenly. “That’s why you’re here. And I’ve found that families are complicated.”

“Did they teach you that in shrink school?”

---