“Until when?”
Still crouched beside her, I place a thumb under her chin and turn her head my way. “I’m in this, Cecelia. I would give anything to go back, to change the things I did. To be the man you needed me to be, but it’s never been as simple as giving in to how I feel about you. And it’s not any easier now. After what went down, after all you went through, I had to allow you the chance at a normal life, to escape this one.” Her frown is deep-set when I lift her chin. “And after years away, you did start a different life. You stayed away. Purposely, even with the excuse of your father’s death to come back, you didn’t return to Triple Falls. You went to college, graduated, and were engaged to be married to another man. You had a ring on your finger. When you came back, you were selling the company. You were ridding yourself of all ties, from Triple Falls, and from me. I had to respect your decision. You were thriving. At least that’s what I thought, at first.”
“And after?”
“I explained this to you. It was a culmination of reasons, one in particular, and I’ll tell you everything, but—” I shake my head—“I need time for that. Not a lot, but I swear I’ll tell you.”
“You don’t think I can handle it?”
“I think you can handle anything,” I say honestly. “It’s just too much to sort through right now. You haven’t slept. I doubt you’ve eaten.”
She stands and wipes her pajamas free of debris, and I take a step forward, but she takes one back, jerking her head. “Don’t.”
“Why? Because you know exactly how it’s going to end up once you let me touch you?”
“Love and sex solve nothing, remember?”
I run my hand through my hair, and she crosses her arms, satisfaction clear in her eyes. She’s fully expecting me to give up at some point. It’s the opposite of progress, and she puts a voice to it.
“Giving up already?”
“Stop it,” I snap. “It was just a dream. Did nothing I confessed to you yesterday make a difference?”
“Yes and no, you just...” she rubs a hand over her red nose, “you don’t belong here.”
“Where do you picture me?”
“You didn’t even bring a goddamn suitcase!” She fists her hands on her hips. “Where do you live now? Where are your belongings, Tobias?”
“Packed in a truck with a driver waiting for my say so. Over half my wardrobe are suits that I don’t plan on fucking wearing anytime soon. I live here. Where you are is home. I made that clear yesterday. I know we can’t pick up where we left off—” I step forward, she steps back, and so the tango begins—the look on her face one of a wounded animal.
“You’re lonely here, Cecelia. I did that. I’ve made you lonely again. You think I don’t know that? You gave up your fucking life for me, so I did the same. I did the only thing I could because I wanted you to take me seriously when I showed up with nothing but the clothes on my back.”
She bites her bottom lip, her eyes drifting up and down my frame.
“I gave up the only life I’ve known for over twenty years and most everything that had anything to do with it, to come here just for a chance to be with you again.”
“You gave up clothes.”
“I gave up control,” I counter. “Which is the hardest fucking thing for a man like me to do.” I step forward, and this time she doesn’t step back. I cup her face, her cheeks ice cold. “Because I want this, more than anything else. I want this, you, us.”
“Just—” she lifts her hands to my wrists and grips them, intent on pulling them away. “Go back to bed. I need to think.”
“No.”
“Tobias—”
“Fuck no. I’m not going to give you a chance to think of more reasons to hold a grudge against me.” I lean in. “What hurts you hurts me. There’s more to say.”
“Not today.” She drops her eyes and shakes her head before pushing past me toward the house. That’s when I snap, rush her, and scoop her into my arms.
“Put me down.”
“No,” I murmur, nuzzling her neck, inhaling her scent, a scent so soothing it feels like coming home. But it’s short-lived because I feel her tensing in my arms.
I bend to kiss her, and she turns her head.
“Look at me, please,” I implore.