Page 112 of Iron Blade

He grabbed my hand- the one with the ring - and had my palm up. He took the blade from his belt, and placed it in my hand.

“Keep this with you, always,” he said, his voice heavy with implication. “If anyone doubts our union for any reason, you show them this. They’ll know who it’s from. Do you understand?”

“No,” I shook my head, my knees feeling weak. “I don’t understand.”

He frowned, his brows knotting together.

“Love, please trust me. This blade will be your protection. Proof that you are mine and that I will burn the world for you. If anyone of this life, Italian, Russian, or fucking Martian doubts my dedication to you, then show them this. Do you understand?”

I nodded, though I still didn’t understand. He unhooked the scabbard from his belt, undoing the button with a quiet snap, before he sheathed the blade, and pushed it into my hand.

Aoibheann had told me to keep my wits about me. I had to act normal. I had to…

I held the blade to my belly. I knew that it wasn’t real, but I swear, I felt the heartbeat within. His heart fluttered inside me, as if he wanted to reach out for the knife that he had bestowed.

Maybe, if I had been given more time, I would have done what Blink had wanted. I would have reported on Eoghan, and tried to bring the entire organization down from the inside. I would have influenced him, and managed him, and become the deep cover agent that I was never meant to be.

But that was until the lines showed up on the test.

Eoghan brought me into his arms, wrapping them around my shoulders. I stiffened, already feeling a heartbeat in my belly that didn’t belong to me.

I knew it wasn't possible. I knew I was delusional. But there was life inside me. I knew it. The test confirmed it. The test that we couldn’t risk throwing away into a waste basket, just in case they found it. A test we had to dispose of, buried in Aoibeann’s herb garden until she could get it out of the house by some other means.

He placed a hand on my cheek, forcing me to look into those deep black eyes that felt like they were trying to break through my walls, and into my mind. His touch was electric, sending goosebumps down my skin. My entire body, including the one I was creating, reacted to him, as if every cell wanted to reach out and reciprocate his touch.

My body was a fool.

“Do you remember your safe word, love?” he asked, quietly. So quietly that I almost couldn’t hear.

Why the hell was he bringing this up now?

I shuddered at the memory of what he could do to my body.

“It’s not just for that, my love,” he whispered, placing his lips tenderly on my forehead. “If I do something… if this life is too much… say the word, and I will stop it. I’ll pause, and fix it. You know that, right?”

I thought that two days ago. But not anymore.

I nodded my head, giving him a smile. “Of course.”

“I love you,” he said, placing a kiss on the tip of my nose. The words enveloped me in a warmth that I resented. How dare he make me feel good when I hated him so much? As if to make his point he said it again, but made it even more painful. “I love you, Wife.”

I smiled through the sting of hot tears.

He looked at me expectantly, and I knew I’d have to give him a response. I knew I'd have to say it back, but the words caught in my throat, unwilling to admit out loud what I knew I felt. I just couldn’t give it to him, because if I said it, then I would feel it… and it would make this whole thing so much harder.

Why did this have to hurt so much?

“I love you too, Eoghan,” I said, foregoing his title of husband because I knew that if I said it, I would break. I would give in and stay and try to figure something out.

Because no matter what I did, I loved him. His genius, his unwavering devotion, and his constant attention.

He looked at me with those beautiful, black eyes that saw the same beauty in me.

I yearned for that. I yearned to be loved, and treated with the dedicated affection that he constantly had, even when he was in a rage.

I turned away from him, glancing at Aoibheann. She looked at me with pained eyes. She knew. She understood me too.

I took tentative steps away from Eoghan, practically falling, because my knees felt so weak. I loved him so much that my heart ached with what I had to do.

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