Page 7 of Blue Moon Love

“None of your business,” I told him as I turned and headed up the steps. “Wait there.”

As soon as I opened the door, Winnie rushed past me to greet her second-favorite person in the world. I’d love to say that I was her first, but my brother Milo held that honor. I was Winnie’s third favorite person. I understood that Milo and Sam were both pretty great, and she loved their calm, alpha energy, something I did not possess.

I grabbed the cupcake from the counter, and I was happy I’d taken the time to frost it before I left. When I returned, Sam was sitting on my porch swing with Winnie curled up in his lap.

“Merry Christmas,” I said as I handed it to him.

As he took it from me, a wide smile spread across his face, revealing his two deep dimples, causing my heart to flutter. “Thanks, pretty girl.”

I’d always loved it when he called me that. Pretty girl. I’ll never forget the first time he had. I was six; he was eight. I was riding bikes with him and my brothers, tagging along with them like always. I’d gone off the ramp they built and crashed. My knees got the brunt of it. They looked like Freddy Krueger had tickled them. They were bleeding, and gravel was embedded in whatever skin was left.

Having two older twin brothers, I’d learned at a very early age that if I wanted them to include me in things, I could not, under any circumstances, cry. So even though I was in excruciating pain and could barely walk, I stood up, grabbed my bike, and started walking home. The twins, Milo and Mason, didn’t even seem to notice, but Sam did.

He walked home with me, and then, since my mom wasn’t there, he cleaned me up. A few tears did slide down my cheek, but I never actually started crying. I’ll never forget the searing pain when he poured hydrogen peroxide on the wounds, picked out all the pieces of gravel and poured the disinfectant again before putting on the bandages. Or the look of concentration on his face as he painstakingly removed the debris from my knee.

When he was done, he looked up and said, “You should have your mom check that when she gets home, pretty girl.”

I was six, and I was toast. I think I fell hopelessly in love with him in that moment. And then I spent twenty-eight years in denial. Yeah, it was definitely time to move on.

“Come on, Winnie.”

“You wanna watch a movie?” he asked as he stood from the chair. “The Princess Bride?”

“I’m tired,” I lied. I wasn’t tired at all. And there was nothing more I’d like than to curl up on the couch with Sam and watch one of my favorite movies of all time. But I couldn’t. If I thought he was asking because he didn’t want to be alone on his birthday, of course, I’d say yes. He’d made it clear for years that it was just a day that he did not want to draw any attention to.

Still, I could see the disappointment in his eyes. But then again, he had big puppy dog eyes, and like Winnie, he knew how to use them.

“Goodnight,” I said as I went inside.

“Night.” I heard him say softly as I closed the door behind me.

I listened to his retreating steps and nearly caved. I almost threw the door open to tell him that I was going to rally, and we could watch the movie. But if I did that tonight, where would it end? Dr. McKinney had been very clear. I had to set boundaries. I had to make room in my life for something real. For something romantic. Even if it broke my heart to do it.

Like any goal, I had to give up what I wanted most now for what I wanted most in the future. Except, in this case, I wanted Sam in the future. I just knew I couldn’t have him.

4

SAM

“Just ’cause a chicken has wings; don’t mean it can fly.” ~ Archie “Witty” Whitlock

“Do you have any questions?” Kane asked the group of first graders we were speaking to.

It was his daughter Harper’s class. Part of our job was community outreach. Typically, we stopped by and spoke to kids during assemblies or during D.A.R.E. week. This was the first time we’d spoken to just a single class. I looked around and saw that several of my friends had kids in the class. JJ Briggs’ daughter Lilah was in the class, and so was his brother Wyatt’s new stepdaughter Alice.

Tiny arms flew in the air. Kane pointed to Scooter Nichol’s son, Freddy.

“Did you just get married? My mom said that she went to your wedding,” Freddy asked as he wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

Half the town had been at Kane’s nuptials. That was the thing about weddings in a small town; you sort of had to invite everyone; otherwise, it could cause hurt feelings.

“Yes, I sure did,” Kane answered proudly.

A girl with two long braids hanging over her shoulder directed her follow-up question to me as her hand flew in the air. “What about you? Are you married?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Why not?”

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