Page 29 of Blue Moon Love

“You said a lot of things, but you were high.”

“What else did I say?”

He was staring at me with an intensity that made me wonder if his memory was not limited to my bodily fluids. Did he remember that he’d told me he loved me? Did he remember that he’d told me he was in love with me?

My phone rang and I looked down and saw it was Jonah calling.

“Jonah?” he asked.

I nodded.

“You’re not gonna answer it?”

“I’m eating. I’ll call him back.” I liked Jonah. I really did. What was not to like? He was hot, gainfully employed, a good father, and even spoke highly about his ex.

Those were all green flags. There was only one problem with him, one red flag, he wasn’t Sam. Which was ridiculous. Sam and I were never going to happen. I needed to move on. That was difficult to do with him under my roof.

As if reading my mind, Sam asked, “Do you remember before the football game, you said that you thought we shouldn’t hang out so much?”

I nodded as I took a bite of garlic bread.

“What did you mean by that?” The look in his eyes broke my heart. I could see the vulnerability that he rarely showed anyone. I knew that he wasn’t going to like what I was going to say, which is why I’d planned to put this conversation off until after he was back on his feet.

“We can talk about it later,” I suggested.

“No, let’s talk about it now.”

I took another drink from my soda as I tried to gather my thoughts. I’d been dreading having this talk, so maybe it was better if I just got it over with.

“I feel stuck,” I blurted out. Not the most eloquent start, but hey, I’d never claimed to be particularly articulate. It was easier for me to write what I was feeling than to say it out loud.

“Stuck?” Sam repeated.

“Yeah, I mean, everyone is getting married and having babies and doing amazing things in their careers, and I’m…I’m not.”

“You’re working on your book.”

Yeah, the book I can’t finish because I don’t actually know what any of the things my protagonist is supposed to feel.

“I quit teaching five years ago, and I still haven’t finished it.” I shook my head, trying not to get sidetracked. “But that’s not the point, my point is, I need to make room in my life for the things I want.”

“The things you want,” Sam parroted slowly.

I stared down at my plate, but I’d completely lost my appetite. I set my fork down.

When I didn’t respond, he prompted, “Things like what? Do you want to get married? Do you want to have babies?”

“Yes. I do. But to do that, I need to actually have a relationship.”

My phone lit up with a text, and I looked down. It was from Jonah.

“Is that Jonah again?” Sam asked, sounding a little irritated.

I nodded. “He traded a shift and is asking if I want to go to Movies in the Park. They’re showing A Christmas Story.”

Movies in the Park had always been a summer event in Wishing Well. But this year, they’d decided, weather permitting, to show Christmas-themed movies every Saturday night between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve.

“You should go,” he said flatly.

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