Page 18 of Wishes and Research

It was a stupid response and one that had just popped out when I hadn’t known what to say, but he didn’t look offended or frustrated. He didn’t respond like anyone I’d dated in the past would’ve because he flashed me a naughty grin. “I like knowing I’ve scrambled your brains.”

The rest of the people in town were nuts, but he was a pain in the butt. “That’s not polite.”

Laughing, he shrugged and gave me a quick peck as he rose and straightened. “I never promised to be polite. That’s your thing.”

He made it sound like a kink.

I wasn’t so naïve that I couldn’t see the signs anymore. I just hadn’t been expecting them. The men I’d met in the field and at work were mostly…well, not as interesting as Fraser. I’d also never run into any women who’d talked about that kind of stuff, so it wasn’t something I was familiar with on a friendship level either.

The only thing I’d heard of before was the concept of safewords and limits. But that was mostly due to the strange things that were on TV at the moment. I’d never run into anyone in person who used them, and I’d never been to a town where everyone needed them in order to behave.

“Your brain is going a thousand miles an hour.” Fraser was right, but he didn’t seem worried about it as he held out his hand. “I won’t ask what you’re thinking but I want you to remember that asking questions is part of getting to know each other.”

I was also pretty sure it was part of the negotiating limits aspect of the kink stuff, but I wasn’t sure if that worked the same as regular questions. Figuring that out as I took his hand and stood up wasn’t as easy as I’d thought, though.

It was time to bring in an expert in the field.

“I…” Swallowing as the words got stuck, probably because he was so close, I tried again as he waited quietly. “I can ask about anything, right? You don’t have…there aren’t limits I need to respect?”

I really needed him to tell me that I was on the right track before I started talking myself out of what seemed to be obvious at that point.

Safewords.

Limits.

Fraser being so willing to take charge.

Yes, that added up to something kinky…I just didn’t know what or if it was rude to ask.

“You can ask me anything you want.” Since he didn’t move away, he was close, but there were still several inches between us as he slowly reached up with his free hand and stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I don’t think there’s anything that I wouldn’t answer, but I might not give you a full response if I think you’re not ready yet.”

He’d already done that, so I nodded. Part of me wanted to be a pain in the butt and pitch a fit to demand all the knowledge, but a bigger part that seemed smarter pointed out he might give me all the knowledge if I did that.

“Making you bad uncomfortable is not my goal, so there might be a few topics I put off discussing until we’re both ready.” Nothing in his voice made me think those topics would be dangerous, but they still had butterflies whirling in my stomach. “Does that seem like a reasonable limit?”

More limits again.

“Yes.” No matter what he was imagining, he was probably right. There were a lot of things I wasn’t ready to talk about. For one thing, I didn’t have the vocabulary or enough of a baseline knowledge to ask reasonable questions.

Yes, looking stupid or offending him were both off the table.

“Good.” He kept softly stroking my cheek, seemingly content with the simple contact. “So yes, you may ask me whatever you’d like. You can also ask it here or we can go sit down on the couch if that would be more comfortable.”

“Further apart?” Oh, hadn’t meant to ask that either. He was bad for my self-control. “I’m sorry. That just…”

Ugh.

Flashing me a cheeky grin, he shrugged. “I’m a cuddler and I’m trying to behave myself. But how about you sit on my lap?”

His lap?

“I’ll squish you.” I wasn’t built like a brick shithouse, like my grandfather would’ve said, but the mechanics of that didn’t seem like it would end well.

“Nope.” Charging right back into things, Fraser stepped away and started walking us toward the living room, keeping my hand wrapped in his. “I’m stronger and sturdier than you’re imagining, but thank you for thinking about my health instead of just what you want.”

Had I been doing that?

“Um, you’re welcome?” Was that the right response? “I don’t know what I want.”

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