Page 154 of Rather: The Therapist

I didn’t have the strength to look at her when I gathered my belongings. I didn’t have the strength to look at her when I strolled into the bathroom. I didn’t have the strength to look at her once I’d taken care of my hygiene and returned to her bedroom. And, I didn’t have the strength to look at her when I exited.

As she wept, so did I. Though the tears never touched my skin, they tatted my heart. Forever, I’d be reminded of her. Of us. Of what could’ve been but would never be.

FOURTEEN

The blades of the ceiling fan circled, hypnotizing me and pulling me deeper into the trance I couldn’t pull myself out of. The week leading up to a woman’s wedding was said to be the most stressful time of a bride’s life. No one mentioned the heartache. The sadness. The mourning of the life you were leaving behind to join another.

Five days.

It had been five whole days since Priest had left me in bed and I’d been unable to pull myself out of it for anything other than feeding my aching belly and emptying my bladder. I hadn’t showered. I hadn’t picked up a comb. I hadn’t taken out the trash. I hadn’t seen clearly in five whole days.

“Sssss,” I winced.

My eyelids were swollen to the point of pain and tender to the touch. With each blink, it felt like shards of glass were scrapping the underside of my skin. I’d used seventy Kleenex.

Get up, Rather. Teddy’s voice chastised me. I could hear the disappointment in his voice, but I was in no shape to comply.

“I can’t,” I choked out. “I’ve tried.”

On queue, my phone vibrated beside me. Wishful thinking led me to the screen where I slightly prayed that Priest’s contact would appear.

Kleigh. I lowered the phone onto the bed, reluctant to answer for anyone other than my sisters, mother, Teddy, or him.

It vibrated again. Kleigh was persistent. She wouldn’t stop calling until I answered. This was her week. This was her mother’s week. And, she wouldn’t let me ruin it even if I tried.

“Hello?”

“Rise and shine, my girl. We have a big day. The final fitting is at four. You’ll go straight to the Edgar’s Hall after where hair and makeup will be waiting to get you together for the dinner tonight. But, before the dinner, we have a quick rehearsal. And then there’s tomorrow!”

She was jubilant. Her joy was contagious. The way she packaged the dream she was selling and offered it to me brought a smile to my face.

“The wedding.”

“Yes. The wedding!” She squealed. “Why do I sound more excited than you?”

Because you are.

“Maybe because every member of your family is present.”

“Awwww, baby. I’m so sorry. My father and Chemistry said they were working to get that squared away. I’m sure between the two of them, everything will work out. They wouldn’t miss your day. I know they wouldn’t.”

She was right. Chemistry would move waters, literally, to make it to me.

“We have dresses for all the girls according to the measurements they sent. Even little Miss Jru has a dress.”

“Thank you.”

“I told you I’ve got you and not to stress. Have you taken this week to relax like I told you?”

I’ve cried every day this week, Kleigh. My heart is broken. I don’t know peace right now. I can’t relax.

“Yes.”

“Well, good, because we have a busy day ahead of us. Then, the wedding. And, after that you can spend the next six months recuperating from the eventful weekend.”

“Noted.”

“Alright, now get up and start getting ready. It’s already one o’clock.”

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