Page 109 of Rather: The Therapist

Fair enough.

“Come ‘er.”

I pulled her back down onto the bed and wrapped her in my arms. I kissed those puckered lips and then met those eyes that were shooting daggers in my direction.

“Fix your face.”

“Nothing’s wrong with my face.”

“You’re pouting.”

She released a sigh, still not managing to convince me of the mental shift. That face… those sad eyes. They reminded me of the last time I saw her two years ago. And just like that night, involuntarily, we’d be parting, again.

“I missed you.”

The curve of her lips soothed my spirit. I pecked her lips and pulled back.

“Did you?”

“That’s why I came. I couldn’t fathom my night without you. I needed to see you, even if only for a little while.”

“You ruined my plans.”

“They weren’t good plans, Rather. I don’t have to go into details. Just trust me.”

“I do– I do,” she whispered, closing her eyes for a second. “I missed you. I miss you. All the time.”

Come home with me.

The words were at the tip of my tongue, but instead, I went with the latter.

“I should be going.”

Quietly, she nodded. Despair glossed her orbs. She was breaking my heart in half. I wondered if she knew just how hard our goodbyes were getting. Each took a toll on me.

Silently, we both gathered our bearings and made the trip downstairs. Hand-in-hand, we stood at the bottom of the stairs where a few of our belongings remained. She continued, opening the door so I could exit.

Before doing so, I lowered my lips onto her forehead.

Then her lips.

Then her chin.

And, then, again onto her lips.

Fuck.

I squeezed both sides of her cheeks, hating the heaviness of my heart. Hating the weight our reality plagued me with. I was burdened by the anchor budding feelings were carrying around. Yet, nothing felt better than moments with her.

They were worth the commandments I was breaking. They were worth the pain the loss of her would cause in two months. They were worth the lifetime of regret I’d be forced to live with. And, my brother’s life would be worth the sacrifice we all made to see their union come to fruition.

Tonight was confirmation the correct decision was being made. Kofi was going to cause me pain, regardless. I’d rather it be from the loss of the woman I longed for than the loss of his life.

“My days almost feel pointless when you’re not part of them.”

Unable to look at her any longer without falling on my fucking face, I turned away and didn’t stop until I was inside the car with my hands gripping the steering wheel. I inhaled and then released a shaky stream of air. The grip dissolved as my frustration peaked.

Once.

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