Page 78 of Rather: The Therapist

“I’m safe, Roulette. Wake up. Please.”

Silence coated the line. I was losing her. I could feel it. Exhaustion was riding her tail. There was nothing either of us could do about it.

“Roulette.”

“I’m tired, babe. Sorry, but pretty bitches need sleep. We have such heavy loads on a daily basis.”

“Load? Roulette, you’re currently jobless and on an island,” I reminded her. All of our loads were light. Chemistry made sure of it.

“And, sleep. You didn’t add that.”

She yawned, assuring me she couldn’t be of service.

“I’m sorry, babe. The time difference. The morning, okay? I promise.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, I love you.”

“In this lifetime and all the others, babe,” sadly, I replied before ending the call and letting Roulette get the beauty rest she was adamant about.

My rumbling stomach reminded me I was due for that Caesar salad. As I removed the dressings, croutons, parmesan cheese, pre-boiled egg, and leafy greens, I grew uneasy. With everything on the counter, I began putting together the salad, simultaneously keeping an eye on the clock.

7:51pm.

I crushed the croutons, pounding them against the wooden mortar with the wooden pestle that matched.

9pm.

Tonight.

I combined the ingredients in the salad bowl and dressed them well with Caesar and then sprinkled parmesan cheese on top. The tidying began immediately after. Once everything was put away, I left a trail of dread behind as I headed for the nook. I’d stored my latest read on the ledge with promises to return.

I opened the book with the intention of occupying my thoughts. The novel was a tale of two friends becoming lovers without either of them truly knowing until that love was tested. I’d never had the pleasure of befriending a male, but wasn’t opposed to the idea. Having Chemistry was the closest I’d ever had to a male best friend. While I knew I could decipher feelings and keep from falling for a friend, I understood Kaylin’s dilemma.

Ugh. Frustration widened my nose and thickened the air around me. Though my eyes were on the words and I was reciting them in my head, nothing was sticking. The salad I desperately wanted minutes prior sat in the bowl, untouched and undesired.

8:08pm.

I closed my eyes, trying my hardest to replace thoughts of the pending meet up. Priest was expecting me, but I wouldn’t be there. It didn’t matter that Roulette wasn’t awake long enough to listen and tell me it wasn’t a good idea. I knew it wasn’t and I knew I couldn’t fall through with it.

8:10pm.

The warmth of the sun’s setting welcomed me as I exposed my orbs, again. Anxiousness grew heavier in my spirit, blocking everything else with little effort. I became numb with paralyzed limbs. My thumb hurt something awful from separating the pages of the book for as long as I had. However, I couldn’t close it. I couldn’t move.

8:15pm.

I slammed the book shut and released a shaky breath.

I have to go. I have to tell him this is unacceptable. We can– we can’t do this. He should know.

Mentally, I calculated the distance from my home to The Mansion. Because I knew I’d need to put on something more presentable, I wouldn’t get out of the house for another ten minutes at the very least. Fifteen gave me a bit more of a cushion to lean on.

It would take almost a full thirty minutes to get to the gates and another five to park and get my balance settled before making my way to his suite. I’d surely keep him waiting a while before I delivered the news.

Not if you leave now. I protested.

I bolted from my seat at the sound of my voice in my head. And, within seven minutes, my teeth were brushed, new clothes were pressed against my skin, and I had the parcel in my hand on my way out of the door. I slid into the Panamera, a gift from Teddy that was waiting upon my arrival in the States.

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