Page 20 of Rather: The Therapist

“Leadership.”

“That’s what you want?”

“That’s what I need.”

The thirst she had wouldn’t be quenched by the champagne she took another sip of.

“I have everything a girl could ever dream of. There’s nothing I need from you– from a man at this point in my life but domination. And, not the freaky shit the rest of them consider when they hear that word. I mean mentally.”

“Mentally?”

“Yes. In that reality I sometimes need a break from, I was born to lead. I’m expected to lead, and I am not given grace. That’s not the way it works. So, here, I want to relinquish my power. I crave submission.”

Eyebrows raised on my forehead, I leaned in to hear more. My attention was undivided.

“And no one here has been able to offer that?”

She shook her head, taking a third sip. “No. It’s usually the other way around. The men are repulsive. They're either into something sickening or crave the same as me. When I enter a room, they’re willing to do anything to win me over. Willing to meet any of my demands when all I want is to be commanded. Controlled.”

“Controlled?”

“In a sense. A healthy sense. There are leaders in my life, but it’s all family. It’s all business. I’m one of them. When the work day ends and the sun settles, I want to shed myself of those responsibilities. All responsibilities. Give them to someone else. Give myself to someone else.”

“To me.”

She nodded.

“I don’t want to think for myself,” she rushed out as if she’d been holding it inside for some time now.

The suppression had been obstructing her windpipe. Once it was released, she breathed easier. Lighter. Steadier.

“Don’t look at me that way.”

“What way?”

“Like I’m insane.”

I shook my head, “I think you’re stunning, my dear. And, I’m looking at you with adoration. Nothing less. I’ve never heard a woman address that natural instinct so beautifully.”

“Natural instinct?”

“To submit. To be led. To be guided.”

She allowed my words to penetrate.

“Can yo–”

“Don’t insult me. If you didn’t think I could, then you wouldn’t be here. Would you?”

“No,” she replied, swallowing a gulp of air. There was nothing else in her mouth.

“I can manage.”

There was an immediate shift. Things were already taking place. Our positions were being established. Without shrinking, she began to recuse herself of her organically derived sense of leadership.

“One rule.”

“Yes?”

---