Page 139 of Rather: The Therapist

Time was slipping away and I was no closer resting than I was when I laid down at eleven. Frustrated, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand. There was only one person who could put my mind at ease. She was miles away, sleeping peacefully in the room that was designed for royalty.

The phone began to ring as I began to reconsider the decision to call. Rather needed her rest, but I’d be damned if I didn’t need her. After the second ring, the angelic soul that had my heart in a headlock graced the line.

“Priest,” she called out to me.

Her voice was scratchy. She was in a deep sleep. I quickly regretted disturbing her but the damage had been done.

“Is everything okay?”

Now it is.

“I can’t sleep.”

I sat up in bed and leaned my back against the headboard.

“What’s the matter?”

I’d much rather have you in my arms than be in this bed alone.

Intrusive thoughts fought for space in the moment.

“Meet me on the bridge.”

From the ruffling of her covers, I knew she was getting out of bed. Her willingness and readiness to show up for me time and time again was treasured far more than she would ever know.

“Clarke?”

“Yes.”

“It’ll take me twenty-minutes to ma–”

I’ll wait forever if that’s how long it takes. It wouldn’t be my first time waiting for her. I wouldn’t be upset if it wasn’t my last either, as long as she was coming.

“I’ll see you when you get there, Rather. Drive safely.”

“Okay. I love you,” she rushed out, preparing to end the call.

The declaration was presented so naturally that it almost felt routine. Normal. Part of my reality and not my imagination. Though she’d rushed to get off the phone, she still hadn’t hung up. Instead, labored breathing coated the line.

Her nerves were shattered. She couldn’t believe she’d voice her truest feelings. She couldn’t believe she’d admitted what we both already knew.

“Priest–” she breathed slowly, unsteadily.

“I love you, too.”

Recanting wasn’t an option, not for her and not for me. Standing in our truth was our obligation, no matter how wrong we’d deemed it. No matter how much turmoil it would cause. No matter who it would affect. No matter how forbidden it was.

Neither of us said anything more. For so long, we held the phone, silent and unmoving. I wasn’t sure if we were savoring the moment or letting our transgressions marinate. Whatever the case, I sat with my head in my hands, wondering what I’d done and if there was any chance either of us could live normal lives with her closeness and my obligation to my family.

“Twenty minutes.”

I nodded. “Twenty minutes.”

The call ended, but I wasn’t far removed from the things said during the call. Not everything, but those three words that fell from Rather’s mouth so effortlessly. She’d made space for me in her heart. And, while I’d accomplished so many great things in my thirty-six years of life, conquering her heart was the greatest.

I sat at the edge of the bed with my shoulders hiked and my palms pressing against the mattress. Not even for a second did I want to keep Rather waiting, but I needed more time with my thoughts. They’d tossed around in my head all night as I tossed in bed, but hearing her solidify everything I felt had me on a fucking rollercoaster.

When I finally got out of bed, I was in my car and on my way to the bridge in less than ten minutes. A black pullover, black sweats, and a black beanie shielded me from the November cold. I journeyed in silence. No music. No words. Nothing. My thoughts were too loud. The drumming of my heart was too intense.

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