Page 168 of Chemistry: The Chemist

“Yes.”

“Good, then.”

The doors swung open under the pressure of his hands. Instantly, the room grew silent with wonder. I could feel the daggers tossed in my direction as Chem led me to the very end of the table where we stood.

The scrutiny.

The anger.

The disgust.

The devastation.

The disbelief.

I felt it all, even though no one said a word. I fixed my eyes on the exit, straight ahead where we’d come from, in the event I needed to retrace my steps.

“It’s been a while,” Chemistry started.

“Far too long,” Rhea chimed in.

“Hello, Chemistry.” Roulette was the first of the sisters to speak up.

“Hello Roulette. Roaman. Royce. Rather. Range. Rugger. And Rome.”

“Hello,” they responded one after the other.

A titter fell from Chem’s lips. “Rugger,” he called out. “Are you not happy to see me? It’s been nine long months.”

“I am happy to see you, but I’d be dishonest if I told you I was happy to see the person standing beside you.”

“I’m sorry Egypt’s presence upset you, but I’ve made my choice. I bear no regrets. If there’s anyone who feels slighted by the decision I’ve made, feel free to walk right out of that door. But, understand you’re choosing a life without me.

“One day you’ll all make choices of your own and they won’t be based upon my preference, but those of your own. And I’ll have no choice but to respect it. I expect that from each and every one of you. Even if you don’t like her, respect her. And remember, you don’t choose love. It chooses you.”

I waited with bated breath for footsteps to sound in the silence. No one stood. No one moved.

“Then, all is well.”

I placed my hand on Chemistry’s arm, stopping him from continuing. This wasn’t his battle alone. It was mine, too.

“I won’t spend all of our time together apologizing for the harm I’ve done. But, right here, right now, I’m inclined to tell each and every one of you how sorry I truly am. Chemistry and I happened, and as much as I’d like to think it was, it wasn’t on accident.

“Despite what I’ve done in the past, I love you brother dearly. Sometimes it feels like I love him more than my-myself. And as scary as that can be, I feel safe knowing I’m not alone. He, too, loves me more than life itself. We aren’t perfect, neither of us.

“But, we work. We work well. We work so well I’ve decided to give up everything to join him. I don’t know where we’re headed or what we’re doing, but I’m here for the ride… wherever it takes us. I’ve abandoned the small support system my daughter and I had to be surrounded by Chemistry’s village.

“If not for me, please find it in your heart to forgive me for this child. Not only does she need you, but so do I. You’re the closest thing to family I have, now.”

Tears welled in my eyes. My lips quivered as I tried my hardest not to cry. One blink and the waterworks began. There was too much silence. Too much stillness. I wanted to run for the hills. Run to a faraway place, until three words landed right on top of me and wrapped me in tenderness and grace.

“We are family!” Rome yelled across the room.

“We’re far from perfect, ourselves,” Roaman added.

“We’ve done things we regret,” Royce admitted.

“Made messes that felt too big, too clean,” Range chimed in.

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