Page 150 of Chemistry: The Chemist

The loft felt nothing like it had when I’d left hours prior. Though filled with the most extravagant, expensive pieces, it was desolate. An abyss I wanted to fall into and never crawl out of. A dark, black ball of nothingness.

Even the anxiousness and worry I experienced when walking through those doors over the last few months was better than this. Because he was still here. Still around. Still lurking.

I was tasked with gathering my things and preparing my entry into protective custody. I hated the idea of it all, but there wasn’t much I could do at this point. Things had gone haywire quicker than I’d imagined and nothing on my end had been set up to stop the inevitable. There was only one entity I sought protection of and it wasn’t the one I was employed with.

My back pressed against the door, slamming it shut. I removed the black shades and slowly lowered my body to the floor. I pulled my knees up toward my chest and rested my head on them. Darkness surrounded me as I closed my eyes and released a tearful sigh.

The day I’d been dreading had come and the things I felt were far worse than I’d predicted. Unrecognizable sounds erupted from my mouth. Deep and throaty, they made my eyes sting and chills run the length of my spine.

“My God. Help me.”

I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want this guilt. This pain. This anger. This anchor. God, help me, please. I prayed, silently.

I struggled with my phone, momentarily. Getting the screen unlocked through the tears was complicated. It didn’t recognize my face and I barely had the strength to press the numbers. After a few tries, I was successful. I scanned my short list of contacts and placed a call to the woman who knew my heart better than anyone. She picked up on the very first ring as if she were privy to my pain before the call was made.

“Hi, babe,” Art greeted me.

I attempted to spit out a few words, hoping my emotions wouldn’t disable me completely.

“It’s… It’s… he…”

“Where are you?” Cutting to the chase, Art began asking questions. “What’s the address?”

“Chemistry was ar-arrested.”

With all my strength, I pushed out the words.

“Hang up, Egypt. Send me the address. I’m on my way.”

Those four simple words were all I needed to hear. I’m on my way. Breathlessly, I ended the call and began texting the address. It was much easier than trying to speak clearly. Everything I was pushing out was nearly inaudible.

Droplets blurred the contents of the screen, but eventually, I managed to get the address sent. Feeling slightly accomplished, but still incredibly sensitive to the situation at hand, I curled into a ball on the floor next to the door. I was too afraid that if I left my post, Art would never get inside because I’d never get out of bed.

Visions of Chemistry cuffed replayed in my head over and over. The things he’d said. The way he looked. How my name sounded rolling off his tongue.

Hello, Egypt.

His baritone broke me and put me back together twelve hundred and fifty times on the floor. Even as he faced the uncertainty, his confidence never wavered. He looked me square in the eyes when he was ready. And never attempted to garner any sympathy. Still, even at his worst, Chemistry was at his best.

He was unbothered by the presence of the law. Over sixty officials combed through his massive home and it didn’t faze him at all. He sat, patiently, in the backseat as they did what they’d come to do. He was cooperative, never showing resistance.

However, he established his position without mumbling a word. He moved at his own pace, not theirs. And because his presence was so commanding, everyone had fallen in line unintentionally. They’d captured a legend. A myth of the sorts. They were honored to be in his presence and it showed.

It must’ve been a full hour before there was a knock. I’d long ago lost track of time, of anything but Chemistry’s voice for that matter. It looped in my head, condemning me to a life of hell without his gentleness. His tenderness. His hands around my body. His head against my chest. His limbs clinging to me in bed. His lips on mine. His smile. His scent. His hugs. His care. His love.

I scrambled to my feet, slowly and completely void of balance. Nothing was as it should be. My equilibrium was rattled. My head was ringing. My heart was aching.

I unlocked the door and pulled it open to find my best friend with widened arms, a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and two bags of groceries in the other. She walked in, I stepped backward. And, once the door closed, I was engulfed in her love.

She smelled divine. A fragrance lover, she was never too far from a good bottle of something soft, feminine, and long-lasting. I inhaled, trying to stabilize my breathing as more tears erupted from the surface.

“I-I am gutted, Art.”

My stomach sunk a bit deeper, proving to me it was possible. We both pulled away slowly. Art’s eyes combed my frame before she wrapped her arms around me again.

“Awwww, baby. I’m here to talk if you want to talk. If you want me to listen, I’m here for that, too. Should you choose to be quiet, then I will just hold this space with you. Whatever you need, Egypt. I’ve let my husband know I will not be home tonight. Until you’re better, I’ll be with you. For however long, babe. I’m by your side.”

She released me.

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