Page 163 of Chemistry: The Chemist

He wasn’t empty-handed. Our child rested on his arms. On his lap was the gun I’d searched for along with another one. The initial shock subsided and my motherly instincts kicked into high gear. I lunged forward and was stopped in my tracks at the sound of muffled fire.

Pausing, I stood still with my eyes closed, waiting for the burn to birth unbearable pain all over my body. Upon realizing it wouldn’t happen, I lowered my arms and opened my eyes. Behind me were two holes in the wall of the nursery.

“Che– Chemistry.”

“Hello, Egypt.”

My name rolled off his tongue so effortlessly.

“I…” Words didn’t find me.

“Take another step and the next bullet will pierce your skull, not the wall. My aim is perfection, Egypt. I missed because I wanted to. I don’t have much more restraint in me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You are.” He sighed, taking a look at the precious child in his arms. “She’s beautiful.”

The brown blanket I’d managed to confiscate from his home during the raid was wrapped snuggly around her body. I’d learned why it was so significant to him the evening of Roaman’s dinner. Losing his father had him clinging to it a little more often.

“Chemistry Jru Childers,” he whispered as he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

The son he wanted wasn’t in God’s plans. I’d birthed a baby girl four and a half weeks ago with my mother and Art at my side. It had only been a few days since my mother had gone home. Art stuck around for a week before she had to get back to her world. Still, we talked every day, just as we did whenever I wasn’t on a case.

“For what it’s worth, I– I had no idea who you were.”

“It’s not worth shit to me, Egypt.”

“Chem. Please. I–”

“Did your fucking job.”

He stood, forcing me backward. He tucked both guns in his waistline. I watched as he lowered our daughter into her crib, gently.

Springing into action, I removed the one closest to me. Chem never flinched when he rose to find the gun pointing in his direction. Slowly, he took a step. Then, two. By the third step, his shirt was against the barrel.

“Handle your business, Egypt. Pull the trigger. End it all and prove to me I was wrong about you all along. Prove to me it was the voices convincing me what we have is unconditional. Prove to me everything we ever said was all bullshit. Prove to me, Choc. Prove to me my life means nothing to you. Prove to me you’d be happy and at ease without me in your world. Prove to me I’m not the nigga for you. Prove to me I’m in far over my head.

“Prove to me how foolish I was to tread those waters while thinking I’d rather die than not make it back to you. Prove to me you were never worthy of me. Prove to me you never loved me the same as I love you. Prove to me I belong with my mother and father. Prove to me loving you bad was all bad. Prove it to me, Choc. Right in the center. Hit me right in my heart. Prove it.”

Tears spilled from my eyes as I held onto the weapon. Bricks weighed my heart down. The heaviness was unbearable. Sweat beads seeped through my skin, staining my forehead and underarms.

Forcefully, Chemistry smacked the gun from my hand and pushed me backward until my back slammed against the wall. My head bounced off the surface. The pain caused my mouth to part. His hand was around my neck. His eyes penetrated my skin, all three layers, in seek of my soul.

“Chemistry.”

“I’m a man of my word.” He choked. “When I said unconditional, I meant through whatever!”

The conviction in his tone gutted me.

“I have not come because of my hatred for you, Egypt. I have come because the love I harbor is bigger, wider, tougher. And it wouldn’t let me get on that fucking plane and leave without you or our daughter. Fuck the choices you’ve made. Fuck the consequences. The choice you make right now is the only one that matters. You did your fucking job.

“I have seven sisters, all with very important responsibilities in my family’s operation. The day one doesn’t perform is the day everything goes to shit. Everyone matters. You were a piece to a much bigger puzzle, a much bigger plot. I will not fault you for abiding by the rules and honoring the oath you took. But, today, you have to make a choice.”

“The choice was already made for me.” I wept. “It’s been you. It’ll always be you.”

His hands moved upward, cupping my chin and lifting my head simultaneously. His lips were on mine in an instant. His tongue was down my throat thereafter. Butterflies flocked in my stomach. Because, for the first time, I wasn’t encountering Chem under a false identity.

I was no longer Eden. I’d become Egypt. Egypt Johanson. And despite the trail of flames Eden had left behind, Egypt still had a future with Chemistry.

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