Page 29 of One Last Time

"You're home!" Dahlia squeals as she engulfs me in her arms. "You look good," she says as she releases me. "Don't think I missed the pictures of you and Silas." She gives me a worried look, and I sigh, I should have known this was coming.

"Bianca, I'm so glad you're here," she says as she pulls Bianca in for a hug. "Your room is ready, you two have to share, I'm sure you don't mind."

I smile, "No, we've shared rooms before." When we were first starting out, whenever Bianca and I were on a shoot together, we'd always end up sharing a room, it's how we became fast friends.

"Good." She claps her hands, "Go on and get set up. The kids will be home soon, and I can't wait to see their faces when they see you."

Walking up to my old room, I have a sense of nostalgia hit me. It's been a long time since I've been here. Glancing at the bed, I remember the heartache and pain I felt while I cried myself to sleep. Losing Mom, Dad, and then Silas was too much for me. If it weren't for Dahlia, I'm not sure what would have happened. She's kept me grounded, the love I have for her is unconditional, just as she gave me. She's held us all together, when she could have walked away.

"You okay?" Bianca asks. She's another person who has been by my side throughout it all.

I nod. "Yeah, just thinking about how much has changed."

"It's good though, you're a different person than you were back then. You're stronger, better, and more resilient than you were." She sits on one of the single beds, "What's really going on in your head?"

I sit down on the other bed and sigh, "I love Silas, that has never been a question, but it's hard. We've been through a hell of a lot. This past month has been different. I'm worried about what he's thinking and feeling. I've not had to do this in a long time. I feel as though I'm drowning, I miss him. What's happening?"

"It's normal to feel this way," she tells me with a small smile. "You two have been through a lot. So the feelings are stronger than they ever have been. You miss him, because you've just got him back."

I hang my head. "I feel out of sorts, like I'm torn between my job and him. I want to be with him, but I don't want to go back to giving up everything in order for him to have everything."

"You've said it yourself, you're able to survive without having Silas. You have us, your family, and really that’s all we need to survive. But being with Silas makes you happy. You just have to find a way that neither of you are giving up anything in order to be together."

And that therein lies the problem. Silas is settled in Seattle, that's been his dream since as long as I can remember. I don't really have a home, I spend my time moving between countries. Whenever I'm home in the US, it's not for very long. If we do this, be together, can our relationship survive me being gone for that long?

The front door opens and pulls me out of my thoughts. "Aunt Dahlia!" Sebastian's voice is high pitched and full of happiness.

"Well, hello, my little monster, how was school today?" she asks, and it's not for the first time that I realize just how lucky we all are to have her in our lives.

"Good," Sebastian replies.

"Tyler, what about you?" Dahlia asks.

I bite back a smile when I hear Tyler's grunt in response.

"How was your day, Dahlia?" Mary asks, and God, she's so sweet. She's grown so much since I left.

"It was good, I've got a few surprises for all of you," Dahlia says, and I glance at Bianca and grin.

"What surprises?" Mary demands. That girl hates not knowing what's happening. When we were growing up, she'd always find the Christmas presents and open them just so she'd know what she had.

"Shall we?" I ask Bee, and she smiles as she gets to her feet.

"Pay?" Tyler gasps as I walk down the stairs, "Bee?"

"Hey," I reply softly, and I'm tackled as soon as I hit the bottom step. His arms coming around me and holding onto my waist, hugging me tightly. Bianca skirts around us and goes to see the others. "I've missed you," I whisper as I hold him close. "How have you been? Are you okay?"

He nods. "It's just weird without you. I miss you," he confesses and my heart stutters, "Will you be coming home?"

My heart clenches as my throat closes. I should have known that he wasn't doing okay. "I'll come home more often, I promise."

He nods, the relief in his eyes is palpable. "Thank you."

"Why didn't you tell me you were struggling?" I talk to him at least twice a week, sometimes, three times.

"No one else is," he whispers as though he's ashamed.

"That's not true, I struggled. I struggled for a long time. Sometimes I still do. But we're not alone, you have me and Dahlia." He tenses at Dahlia's name. I pull him with me back upstairs. "Hey, what's going on?" I ask once I close the door behind us.

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