Page 44 of One Last Time

She’s silent for a moment as she composes herself. When she climbs off my lap and moves to the other side of the room, I instantly miss her, yet I’m put on edge. I hate that there’s fucking secrets between us. The fact that she’s been here in Seattle for more than a day and hasn't told me pisses me off. Why did she keep it from me?

“You’re going to hate me,” she whispers, and I feel as though I’ve been punched in the gut. Why the fuck would I hate her?

“Payton?” There’s a tinge of anger in my voice.

“I wanted to tell you when I saw you.” She’s said that before. “Christmas day was the happiest day of my life.”

I nod, wondering where the hell this is going,

“I finally had you back, and then I got the best news. I found out I was pregnant.” Her voice is a soft whisper, I just about hear her.

“Pregnant?” Fuck, what the hell happened to my voice?

She nods, “Yeah, I was so excited. I couldn’t wait to tell you.”

“You didn’t tell me?” She’s got to be at least three months pregnant. There’s no anger in my voice, I’m merely curious.

“I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. I wanted to tell you in person. I thought you deserved that much.” She gives me a weak smile, but there’s worry in her eyes, and I’m not sure why.

I actually would have been pissed had she told me over the phone. I’m glad she waited. “We’re having a baby?” Excitement bubbles up inside, fuck, I’m going to be a dad. I stand up and go to move toward her, but I stop when I see her face.

Tears slowly fall down her face, and she shakes her head. “No.” Her tongue swipes across her bottom lip.

My heart fucking stops. What the actual fuck?

“Silas, I went for my scan two weeks ago,” her body begins to shake, “there was no heartbeat. The baby died.”

She falls to her knees as painful sobs wrack through her body.

Our baby died.

I swallow past the lump in my throat as pain like no other erupts in my chest.

Our baby died.

Fuck.

Her words reverberate around my mind.

I breathe through the hot tears that fall from my eyes.

I’ve never felt as fucking helpless as I do in this moment.

My girl is in a heap on the floor as she sobs, the pain of losing our baby pouring out of her. I’m lost in the turmoil of picking her up and comforting her or crawling beside her and doing the same.

I never knew about the baby, and yet it hurts so fucking much.

She should have told me. I would have been here for her. She shouldn’t have gone through this alone.

Why didn’t she tell me?

CHAPTER 24

Silas

Her sobs are tearing me apart. I hate that she’s so upset, but I’m unable to move. I stand here staring at her. “What happened?” I don’t recognize my own voice. It’s gravelly and hard.

My voice gets through to her as she raises her eyes to me. The look on her face guts me. Broken isn’t a word to describe her. She’s totally beyond that. I want to pull her into my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay, but I can’t. How the fuck is everything going to be okay? We lost our fucking baby.

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