Page 13 of One Last Time

“I’m okay, honestly, I’m getting used to it now.” Liar. I don’t think I could ever get used to it. He was meant to be mine and now he’s everyone else's.

“Has Jerald spoken to you?” And this is why I love Bianca, she changes the subject swiftly. She hates that I still love Silas; she tells me time and time again that he’s not worth the pain and tears, but she doesn’t make me feel bad for still pining over him.

“No, why? What does he want?” I throw myself down on the couch beside her.

Jerald is also Bianca’s agent, her old one was clueless to the world. Both of our lives seemed to hit a fast forward button since the photoshoot with Isabella. Jerald saw the shoot and knew that Bianca and I had grown close and poached her from her old agent. Since then, we’ve barely had time to breathe.

She shrugs, “I’ve no idea. He told me he wanted to talk to us, I assumed he’d call.”

“Nope, I haven’t spoken to him since yesterday. Knowing him, he’s probably going to tell us that he’s booked us out for the next year.”

She giggles, “Yep, maybe sometime this century we’ll be able to sleep.”

I groan, “We sleep on the plane.” I mimic Jerald’s voice and both of us bust out laughing. “I’m exhausted; I really hope he hasn’t got anything booked for the next few days. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a day or two.”

She leans her head back against the cushions, “Tell me about it. I got back an hour ago.”

Shit, I forgot she had her shoot. “How did it go, what’s Clarisse like?” Clarisse Clayton is the new upcoming designer, and she chose Bianca to be the face of her launch campaign. I’m so proud of Bee, she’s growing in confidence with every job shoot she does.

“It was good. I like Clarisse, she knows what she wants and expects, no demands, perfection.” She smiles, it relaxes me, it means she liked it. “So, tell me, what was your photoshoot like? I mean, a full month, what the hell?”

I shake my head. “It was full on,” I tell her as I tuck my legs under my ass on the sofa. “First, we had to do pre-test photos, which took a week. Then we did the full photoshoot, it took just over two weeks for that. I was posed in every pose you can think of. Then we had to wait for the edits, then once that was given the go ahead, I was able to return home.”

“So, is Angelina Serafini as bad as they say?”

I laugh, I’d heard that rumor too. She’s supposedly a bitch, it’s rumored that if things don’t go her way, she’ll have you ousted from the modeling world. “No, she was so nice. She actually reminded me of her daughter.”

Bee nods, “Makes sense. You never did tell me what the photo shoot was like? Mine was fully clothed.”

I roll my eyes, I should have known she wanted to know this. I reach for my cell phone, the photographer sent me a picture once the edits were done. Angelina insisted that I have this one. She wanted me to see what everyone else saw when they look me. “Here.” I pass her my phone when I get the picture up on the screen.

Her sharp intake of breath has me biting my lip. I’m not naked. I’m wearing bra and panties, my hair teased to seduction, and I’m actually doing what I’m doing now, biting my lip. I was waiting for instruction when this picture was taken, the photographer loved it so much that he showed Angelina and she agreed that it was perfect. For what? I don’t know, but I love the picture. I look beautiful and sexy, which is something I don’t usually feel.

“My God, Pay, you look stunning. This is amazing.” She’s bouncing on her seat, “Seriously, I’ve never seen you look like this before.”

I shake my head. “It was the nerves.” I was so nervous, I hadn’t done a photoshoot as erotic as this one, and my cheeks were flushed. I trembled so badly, but in the end, I managed to pull through and everyone said the photoshoot was a success. That’s all I’m happy with.

“Nerves my ass,” she quips. “You do realize that the majority of Angelina Serafini’s campaigns end up on billboards?”

I tut at her dramatics, “Bee, they’re not going to put me on a billboard. Who puts a practically naked woman on those anymore?”

She giggles, “Pay, you should open your eyes once in a while. Trust me, once this image gets out, you’re going to be famous.”

Three hours later, Bianca and I are sitting on the couch, both of us in our pajamas as we watch the draft. My nerves are shattered as I wait to hear Silas’ fate. I know that his dream has always been to play for Seattle Silverbacks. Even after everything that’s happened between us, I still want him to reach his dreams.

Bianca holds my hand when the sports commentators start to talk. I’m not a big fan of football so I’m not really sure what they’re saying. I watch as cheers go up when other teams make their first picks. I’m shaking as I wait for Seattle’s turn.

My breath hitches when I see the words on the screen flash, Seattle Silverbacks’s pick in. I send a silent prayer up above, please let them pick Silas. He’s worked hard for this.

“The Seattle Silverbacks team selects Silas Miller - wide receiver…”

Everything goes blurry as Silas’ face comes onto the screen. God he’s even more perfect than I remember. I’m unable to hold back the tears any longer.

He’s got his dream; the one we were meant to have together. I’m not there. I should be; I should be there holding his hand and cheering when he got what he wanted.

The TV is shut off, and I’m pulled into Bianca’s embrace as I sob over everything I’ve lost. How many more times am I going to cry over him? When is it going to be enough? I’m grateful to Bee, she holds me until the tears dry up

There’s a knock on the door. I pull back and glance through my tears at Bianca, she’s frowning. We aren’t expecting anyone, the guy in the lobby never called us to let us know someone was here. I watch as she gets up and goes to answer it. I quickly wipe away my tears and pull myself together.

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