Page 75 of Of Night and Blood: Special Edition

“Not if you possess sanity,” I answered.

Those crystal eyes met mine.

Blasphemy, he shouted into his mind, the sound reverberating into my own head. I could never be insane, I am far too brilliant.

Ah, but you do not deny my company is less than enjoyable? I shot back, appreciating the slight panic that lit his face. I chuckled, shoving his arm with my shoulder to break the tension.

“Your company is like the sweetest wine,” he said, earning a scoff from me.

“I hate you,” I said in response, not able to conjure a better insult.

“I think the only thing you hate is how much you like me, Princess.” His voice was sultry, more than a simple tease. We needed to change the subject before I lost all my senses.

“Tell me what you came for, demon,” I said. Whatever it was had to be important to come out here in the night. It was far from comfortable.

“Well in truth, there was something I wanted to ask.” His statement was hesitant, as if he were nervous. Of what I was unsure. My reaction? My answer? Both?

I nodded, waving a hand to signal for him to continue. He did not smile, though to his credit, he also did not hesitate.

“What do you want in life?”

I reeled back, as if his question was a blow to my chest. How could he ask something like that when he had worked so hard to take my choices away from me? He certainly had not cared what I wanted when he inserted himself into my life in order to steal me away from the only home I had ever known. Nor had he cared about my wants when he hid secrets from me and refused to allow me the courtesy of knowing what my own near future would entail.

“Are you daft? Or do you simply enjoy being a prick?” I seethed, jumping down from the rock and stomping away from him, ripping the fur off as I went.

He caught up with annoying quickness, not faltering a step. His persistence only made me angrier. With every ounce of strength I possessed, I remained quiet, heading straight for my tent. Bellamy had other ideas, reaching out his hand and grabbing onto my wrist. Then I was spinning to face him, his other arm securing around my waist. I struggled in his grasp, but it held firm.

“I was not asking to annoy you or make you feel upset. Why can you not see that I care? That I want your joy more than I want air in my lungs? Ask anything of me, and I will do everything I can to give it to you. Talk to me, please.”

That did it. I looked up at him, finger pointed to his chest and eyes blazing.

“Fine, you want honesty? You want to talk? Then know I am miserable. I have no home, no family, and my best friends are a sea away. I am surrounded by creatures who lie to me and follow a wicked prince that abducted me. Every night I think of that stupid little child’s hands on me or Xavier beating me or Mia offering me tea that likely had poison in it. And here you stand, pretending to care, as if you are not keeping secrets and holding me against my will. As if you are not lying and plotting and using me just as everyone else has!” I said with a gasp of breath.

He stared, face unreadable save for the tick in his jaw that said he was at least mildly upset. Good, that made two of us. I would not let him recover. Would not give him the opportunity to hide ugly truths with pretty lies. Whipping back around, I made a dash for my tent. I was so close, a mere ten feet. Still, he caught me, grabbing around my waist and pulling my back flush to his chest.

“Ash, please,” he whispered, leaning down to rest his chin atop my head.

I froze, not prepared to hear that nickname come from his lips. It sounded horribly perfect. As if he were always meant to know me well enough to use it.

“There are some secrets that are not mine to tell, many that involve you. But when we arrive in The Royal City, I promise you will be made privy to them all. I know this is unfair, and that I have upended your life. You were right before, about me stalling with this trip. Not because I wanted to change your allegiances. Rather, I wanted more time with you. Selfishly, I wanted you to have more time with me as well,” he admitted.

My body seemed incapable of moving, as if I were rooted to the spot within Bellamy’s hold. Nothing kept me together save for the feeling of those strong arms, tightly grasping my stomach as if he were afraid I might disappear.

Always, he found a way to pull me in. To assure me he was not the enemy. To convince me that he was my destiny. A part of me agreed, enjoying the way I felt at his side. In all my life I had never met someone so close to my equal, who rivaled my strength and power, who did not balk or fear me. We fit together like two halves of a puzzle, waiting for the other to finally be complete.

Here, in his warmth, that future felt right. That was what he hoped for. I knew it. Regardless of the scheming, he hoped that at the end of this, we would survive, side by side. Unrealistic as that was.

“What will she mean to you in the end?”Pino had said that fateful day at his clothing stall.

When I had eavesdropped then, I had been unsure what he meant. Now though, I realized Pino had been encouraging Bellamy to tell me the truth, to give me a choice that might salvage that future. And the demon had not done so.

Still, he believed he would have me. I could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes and feel it in his touch. For whatever reason, The Elemental had set his sights on me.

Finally, I turned around in his arms, pressing my hands to his chest and looking up into those blue eyes that always made my stomach flip. He would not give up until I answered his silly question, though the answer was far too meaningful to be a joke.

I sighed, knowing I would lose this fight.

“I want to mean something,” I said.

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