Page 53 of Of Night and Blood: Special Edition

Worry. Fear. Excitement. Sorrow.

Every other feeling was instantly overpowered by tenderness and devotion. This feeling, it was similar to the way some worship gods, the way they sat at an alter and professed their unwavering support, their unending commitment. Never had I felt such deeply rooted passion. Not even when Nicola and Kafele’s emotions accidentally found their way through one of my weak points, a crack in the gate. It was heavy and all consuming. This feeling was everywhere, blinding and immobilizing.

Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.

My head snapped in his direction, fueled by jealousy or curiosity or perhaps a combination of both. I wondered if it were Noe he was thinking of. But my eyes met Bellamy’s, his gaze focused on me as if everyone else had disappeared, and I knew that he was either more manipulative and twisted than I thought, or the demon was in love with me.

Before I could dive deeper, a sea of black fire flooded his mind, pushing me out and back into my own awareness. I shuffled back, surprised he had suddenly realized that I was using my power on him.

“Such a nosey, beautiful thing you are,” he said with a smirk on his face as I finally made it to them.

Of course, he was toying with me. He must have known I was going to try to break into his mind, so he was shooting false feelings at me.

“Prick,” I said.

Bellamy’s smile did not falter, but tension grew as the others looked back and forth between the two of us. Even the edge to their minds and the joy in Bellamy’s could not get me to feel more than a spark of annoyance.

I had always been emotional. At least, Mia had said so. She believed I was ruled and guided by the kind of empathy that only my power could give someone. I had thought it a compliment, that I could feel so deeply and care for others to the extent I did. The queen disagreed, vehemently so. That was the first time I learned what it took to rule, the amount of indifference and coldness that came with the position of queen. From that day forward I found myself less and less interested in the throne, what it meant to be the one seated there.

Would I have to watch unperturbed as my subjects suffered? Mia seemed to think so. Standing here feeling the stress of those around me, hearing their concerned thoughts, and understanding that they saw me as a potential threat to their beloved future king, I knew she had been right.

To feel that deeply, to take into consideration the opinions and wants of those around you, it made you weak. My emotions surrounding Sterling were what led me here, trapped and surrounded by enemies. Now, those very same emotions might sway me into becoming comfortable around these dangerous beings. Or worse, wanting to please them, as I had so often with others. I could not afford to care about what they thought of me.

I was hollow.

“A dashing prick?” Bellamy asked, clearly enjoying himself.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, probably looking juvenile doing so, but not caring enough to offer a retort. The prince laughed, husky and low. A quick look around the circle told me he was absolutely the only one who found humor in my foul mood.

Good.

I dared a glance at Calista, but she was talking to Pino, the two of them having a sort of hushed disagreement if their tense bodies and sharp hand gestures were any indication. Noe and Lian were also huddled together, watching Bellamy and I out of the corner of their eyes and attempting to maintain a separate conversation. The others more blatantly watched, stared even, as I went head-to-head with their prince.

“Regardless, this prick has some rules for you.”

That got my attention. I snapped my head back in his direction, glaring up at his ridiculous dimples and freckles. Bellamy was like a carnivorous flower. Pretty and enticing, but deadly.

I thought back to my own reflection in the mirror of my bathing chamber. My long brown hair fell in loose, messy waves down my back. It was thick and prone to tangling, nothing like Noe’s golden-brown hair which was straight and silky. My large eyes were the color of storm clouds and angry waters. I did not have a sharp jaw despite my high cheekbones. My full lips were often red and chapped due to my nervous habit of biting them. My body was soft, rounded where others were straight.

At no point did I ever consider myself ugly though. Even after Sterling came along and Mia insisted I eat less, I still knew that I was pretty. There was one male who told me I was beautiful rather often, though he usually followed the compliment with “despite the fact you are terrifying.” I had had many casual romances that mostly involved the other enjoying the thrill of being with me, but each openly expressed their attraction to me as well.

That was the stark contrast between Bellamy and I. My beauty highlighted the danger inside of me. Behind the soft exterior there was a fear-inducing coldness. Farai had said it was in my eyes and mouth, my stance, my attitude. I was a walking nightmare to most.

Bellamy’s beauty hid the danger he presented. One look at me told someone immediately that I was a threat. Looking at The Elemental was different. There was kindness in his smile, innocence in his dimples, and seduction in his eyes. The evil within him was deeply masked, concealed within his soul.

His heart.

“And what might they be, Your Highness?” I asked, my tone flat save for the bit of sarcasm I could muster.

Henry let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Ranbir’s hand fly over his mouth in surprise. I assumed I looked disrespectful, and likely rude, but that was because in their minds Bellamy rescued me. In truth, he abducted me from the only home I had ever known. He had done me no favors.

Bellamy’s smile did not waver. As he spoke, I could sense his amusement, that feeling of warmth pouring out of him.

“You will not venture out on your own,” he began, taking a step closer to me with each recitation of his so-called rules. “You will not harm any of us unless we are attempting to hurt you. And most importantly,” his voice darkened, the eye contact he maintained giving off a sense of seriousness that was not there before. “If you are in danger, you will fight for your life.”

We were toe to toe now, as we often seemed to end up. I wanted to claim he was ridiculous for even suggesting that I would not fight back, but I knew it was a lie. Days ago, I had fought for my life on instinct, but with time to rest and think I had come to a startling realization. Dying, especially when the outcome of survival would be Sterling, did not seem so horrible.

Running away to a far-off place and being free, that was the dream I had now. The only scenario that was not in play, the fate I was robbed of the second Sterling walked into my life. Death, it could take me there. Eternity might not accept me back, but that did not mean my afterlife would be horrible. Whatever existed beyond my final breath, whatever lay ahead of my end, perhaps it would be the bliss I was starved of during this lifetime.

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