Page 52 of Of Night and Blood: Special Edition

Reading had done me no good. In fact, books only served to make me feel far more than I desired to. Which meant that was ruled out.

With everything taken away from me as of late, I thought that perhaps I deserved this moment.

I sat down on the black bench, which had an incredibly comfortable red pillow atop it. The moment my finger hit the first key, I was lost to the world.

No particular melody came to mind; instead I improvised, letting the anguish, heartache, and betrayal pour out of me. My fingers blurred as they sped, the notes climbing higher, matching how my loss had built into a mountain of pain.

Tears spilled down my cheeks, the only sign that I too could feel. My anger rose then, mixing with a sea of self-hatred so vast that I could only sob and rage like violent waves. I slammed my fingers down harder, hitting the keys with enough force to send the song into a tuneless crescendo.

A bead of sweat made its way down my back, my arms and fingers aching, but I would not—could not—stop. If I stopped, then where would I pour the glass of sorrow? Where would I set the plate of anger?

Where would I hide when the music was no longer there to shield me?

Then my sweaty hand slipped, ending the melody with a violent jolt of off-key exhaustion. Clapping sounded behind me, and I turned to find Bellamy leaning against the doorframe.

His dimpled grin and shining eyes trampled over my sadness and threatened to make me feel things that would only lead to pain.

He had said that his art studio was in the next room over, but I knew better. He had been following me.

I left the room and never returned.

Much of my time I spent burrowing down into my well of power, learning the new depths that seemed nearly never-ending. It was a strange feeling, that strength. Discovering the sheer force that I could be made it painfully obvious that I had the toxins in me for quite a long time. Though who had done it, I was still unsure.

My life had previously been spent fighting against The Manipulator. Perhaps the problem had not only been the poison in my system, but also the poison in my mind. Maybe I could be powerful and not care if it made me a monster.

After the five days of mostly eating, sleeping, and training, I had found myself numb once more. Panic attacks had shot through me, forcing emotions upon my mind that I could not take. Nightmares left me startling awake each night, an endless cycle of fatigue and stress and terror. Though Ranbir had offered tonics for sleep and nausea, I had refused the former, not wanting to incapacitate myself further. Instead, I shut down to block it all out, not allowing myself the opportunity to be sucked into the agony of my inner demons and thoughts. Now I was not quite sure how I would go back to feeling like a normal female when I found myself strong enough to fight it all.

Infinite time seemed to pass and yet none at all as I walked down the many stairs and through the hallways. No one came to collect me or guide me, though that might have been for the best. I was eager to have more time to myself before I was surrounded at all times by creatures who wished to see my kind slaughtered by the thousands. Honestly, they might prefer to see me dead rather than spend a moment with me. Maybe I would let them do it.

Before I could spiral too far into the pit of my despair, I made it to the entrance of Bellamy’s manor, shaking off the horrid thought. I pushed open the two doors, welcoming the darkness that met me outside. Once my eyes adjusted, I was able to make out the group standing at the center of the grass field, a small ball of demon light glowing in the space between them.

Making my way to them, I opened the shield of sorts that I used to reign in my power, reaching for their minds. I could sense everything they were feeling, as if the emotions were my own. Their thoughts raced through my mind, like I had been thinking them as well. Every bit of my power told me to command, urged me to take control. I could not comprehend how small the effort was, how easy it had been since Ranbir had healed the poison from me. How very other it made me.

The Manipulator indeed.

Henry was eager to go home, his light sporadic. A mess of emotions he could not control, leaking into his magic. Then his mind veered, a mental image of me practicing today appearing.

Ranbir was calm, listing the supplies he had packed in his head. Healers always had a numb feel to them, as if my brain had been doused in morphine. Though it was much lighter tonight than it had ever been. Perhaps due to his wife who sometimes dragged him from those meticulous habits.

Lian was annoyed and slightly on edge. Her mind was ravaging through thoughts like a windstorm. Weapons, Bellamy, me, safe routes, and…royal fae guards.

Pino was a horrifying and exciting mess of the future, his mind racing quickly with images I could not comprehend. I had never seen a Tomorrow view what is to come in such a way, without touching another. Were those memories of past prophecies? When he noticed me walking towards them in the distance, he critiqued my clothing, realizing he had not created travel worthy options for me.

My eyes swept across the group, realizing they all—apart from Calista and Pino—were dressed in leather of some sort, the matching head-to-toe outfits black with the sigil of the Demon realm in red across their chests. They also all wore red cloaks, which billowed in the wind.

Noe was eager, searching for me. I focused harder on her, trying to understand what it was about me that had her so deeply interested. But she saw me there, and her mind went blank, a flow of black clouding my internal vision.

Winona was incredibly similar in her hopeful and uplifting mental tone, though her magic was blinding where Noe’s was deafeningly dark. She had a sense of awe as she watched me approach. She, along with the others, had been attending my practices and even lending aid.

Calista was practically shouting at me in her mind, that deeply rooted trepidation still ever present.

Ms. Asher, I implore you to keep your ears open during this trek. Listen to what you hear; pay attention. There is much to be deciphered from the vagueness of our crown prince and his Trusted, but the hints and the path are laid out for you, if you only open yourself to them.

Over and over the siren repeated herself, until I offered the slightest nod in acknowledgment. I wondered why she wanted me to know what the others did not. Where did her allegiance truly lie? If I could turn her against Bellamy, we could get away, I was sure of it. I would find time to make some sort of plan to win her to my side as we journeyed through the Demon Realm.

There was also another nagging thought—these beings knew how to speak to me through their mind. This was not something even I was aware had been possible, and yet more than one of them had done so already. What else did they know?

Bellamy’s emotions interrupted me, coming into my awareness like a punch to the gut.

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