Page 45 of Of Night and Blood: Special Edition

Mia would be personally offended if she saw me like this, weak and full of self-pity. Normally I would get up and fight back simply because the idea of her being ashamed of me was enough to force me into action. I could not find that energy or willpower within me anymore.

When the sun began to descend, signaling the passing of midday, sleep finally overcame me.

***

Run!

The voice in my head was terrified.

I looked down at my bare feet. Where were my shoes? The damp grass was so cold my skin had begun to lose color. All I was wearing was a short gold slip, which was moving with the breeze. My hair was loose, providing some warmth to my back.

Why was I not moving?

A laugh that sounded like stones scraping together came from behind me. I turned to find Sterling wearing the same gold crown and outfit as he did on our wedding day, blood staining the fabric of his tunic where a hole exposed his chest. His smile showed off his white teeth, but the curve of it felt sinister, ominous.

“Sterling?” I asked, confused. “How did you get here?”

The mortal prince did not respond. Instead, he began slowly walking towards me. I tried to step back, that voice in my head screaming louder and louder to run, but my feet were stuck in place. Sterling was right in front of me.

“So beautiful, so unique, so devastating.” His words were muffled, but they felt loud and all consuming, like I might hear them for the rest of my life. “You are evil, Asher, a plague on the realm. Your magic will be the death of us all if we do not contain you,” he said.

It was then I saw the blocker in his hand, which he was clasping onto my wrist.

“Evil? What do you mean? I never hurt anyone with my power,” I said, looking frantically around for somewhere to escape to. “I am going to save us all, that is why I am marrying you.”

Even as I said it, my voice taking on a pleading tone, I did not believe it. Had I not always wondered if I were unworthy of this life? Perhaps I was the problem after all. I knew of one instance that would verify his claims, even if my magic had not been behind the tragedy.

“Oh lovely wife, how wrong you are.” He let go of the blocker, rotating a gold band on my finger.

When had we gotten married? Before I could ask him, his other hand reached up and grabbed my neck. I remembered a time when he had done this before, then thought back to when Bellamy did too. The difference was stark.

Sterling squeezed, making my throat constrict. I was gasping, but I did not fight back, did not beg for mercy.

“You are a beast, a monster. But every piece of you belongs to me now, and together we will rule the world.”

When his lips met mine, I screamed.

Instantly I was back in my chambers, my body shooting up as I continued to let out a piercing wail. Tears stained my cheeks and sweat left my clothes damp. Just as I registered that I had been asleep, my doors burst open, tendrils of black smoke wafting in.

Bellamy looked crazed, his eyes wide and body tensed for a fight. He saw I was in bed and darted to my side. I wanted to tell him that it was just a terror, that I was fine, but I could not seem to find my voice. His gaze raked over me, assessing every inch of my body. He scanned the room, and I wondered if he was searching for the threat. The way he poised his body was like a shield, prepared to take the blow of an unknown enemy if need be.

When our eyes locked, realization dawned on him.

I was not sure how I appeared, but I knew how I felt. Disheveled. Terrified. Broken.

So beautiful, so unique, so devastating.

A monster.

Light shone in from the windows behind me, the sun bright and high enough in the sky to tell me I could not have been asleep for more than an hour or two.

Neither Bellamy nor I spoke for a while. Instead, we sat in silence while my breathing steadied and my heart slowed. He was perched on the edge of my bed, mere inches from my arm. But he did not touch me, did not flinch from his position.

Regardless of where I went from here, I knew that I would likely be haunted for the rest of my life by those words. I was everything Sterling called me in the nightmare, there was no changing that. A part of me was fine with it. In fact, I reveled in the idea of living without a code which limited me.

Another side of me was disgusted by that. Smaller though it was, that voice was somehow louder. Damning. A life of joy and ease and comfort was not on the table, but Eternity did not seem done with me yet. I would be made a symbol no matter which of the two paths I took. My subconscious reminded me of that in my sleep.

Sterling would use me. Bellamy would use me.

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