Page 21 of Of Night and Blood: Special Edition

The list of my injuries shocked Mia, as well as Tish’s statement. She seemed eager to continue the conversation, but apparently did not want me to be a part of it. “Put her to sleep for me, Tish. She needs to rest if she is to enjoy the first day of her ceremony preparations tomorrow,” Mia whispered. Of course she would still be thinking of the wedding, even after hearing the news of my attack. If I told her Sterling did it, what would happen? Would she call off the wedding? Would she stand up for me? I had thought the fight left me, but maybe not.

“Mia,” I said, my voice hoarse. She looked over at me with wide eyes, as if she were surprised to hear me speak. Her hands went to my head, softly stroking my hair, a tear beading down her cheek. The love that radiated from her gave me courage. I could trust her to save me.

“Yes, my love?” she whispered. Tish looked back and forth between the two of us, her power pulsing in her palms as she awaited further confirmation that I should be put to sleep. I took a few deep breaths, hoping that if I focused on the way my chest inflated rather than the quick beating of my heart, I would maintain the composure I needed to speak this truth.

“Sterling,” I tried to say. My voice broke, and I let out a strained cough. Mia shushed me, still weaving her hand through my blood-soaked locks. Her expression softened, and I knew she was misunderstanding before she even spoke.

“He knows. He is the one who found you. That poor boy is terrified for you,” she said, a delicate smile on her face that did not quite reach her eyes. I shook my head fiercely, needing her to see that she was wrong. The movement sent a piercing pain into my temples. I spoke before I could convince myself not to.

“No, he attacked me. He hit me,” I said, tears threatening to spill again. “He kissed me and touched me—he—please Mia, please,” I begged. For a moment, anger lit her face again, her power swelling. This is it, I thought. She would end the engagement and banish the boy prince. She was going to save me.

Bellamy’s words came to mind. What about your own feelings, do they not matter?

Despite my incertitude about that statement before, I realized in this moment that Mia did care. She would not let me suffer in this way. The queen would move mountains to save me from pain. I breathed a sigh of relief, because the last few months of fear were over. I would be free.

But then she schooled her face back into that neutral composure she always wore. “Put her to sleep, Tish. Now.” Her hand left my hair, her heat disappeared from my side. As Tish touched my cheek, the Healer’s eyes filled with sorrow. I sagged as Mia disappeared from my line of sight. I would marry Sterling, and my entire life would be a series of pains and tragedies every day after.

My eyes closed before the tears came, but I knew in my heart that in my sleep I wept.

Chapter Thirteen

Iwoke up in a daze, my brain fogged and my eyes crusted. Light shone in through the many windows that lined the southern wall of my chambers. At some point in the night, I must have been moved to my bed, because I was tightly wrapped in my blankets with pillows under my head. I stared up at the golden mesh above, letting all of yesterday’s events come back to me.

Bellamy’s touches, Pino’s premonition, my discovery of the deception that took me away from the palace, Sterling’s attack, Mia’s failure to help me. My wedding. All of it swarmed me and threatened to wreak havoc on my psyche.

I pushed every memory and every pain to the back of my mind. I needed to get through these next two weeks, I could break later. My limbs felt sore and tired, but my head ached the worst. I grabbed the cup of water off of my bedside table and drank it in one long gulp. Though it left me out of breath, it also quenched my scorching thirst.

I sat up, feeling the leftover ache of the previous night. Today would begin the planning for the elaborate celebration that royal weddings entailed. Fae would come from all over to witness the marriage, and the festivities would go from sunup to well past sundown. Sterling and I would leave after for the consummation ritual, which would have guests flicking water at us and praying to Eternity for a fruitful marriage, toasting us with sweet wine and kissing our palms. Many would openly discuss things they did to ensure pregnancy, and it would be expected of me to immediately begin attempting to bear children. With fae it was difficult to conceive, which was why our life spans were seemingly never-ending. If we died as early as mortals then we would never reproduce, and the fae would go extinct.

To my knowledge, no mortal had ever married a fae, and for good reason. I myself was surprised when Xavier first told me about the betrothal. Mating outside of one’s faction was outlawed in the Fae Realm due to a mass dilution of powers. In fact, there was a time many millennia ago when fae were attacked by demons and had no way of protecting themselves due to the reduction of power within our realm.

So many died during that dark age. Now, it was a part of our history that reminded us of what—and who—we stood to lose. This was why I was baffled when Xavier told me I was to marry a mortal. Power, especially mine, was coveted in our realm. If Sterling and I had younglings, would they be able to manipulate minds? Or would they be without fae power at all? To this day we are unsure how I came upon my gifts, and I dare say it seemed unlikely to be wielded by half mortals.

Then of course there was the fact that I was the only of my kind. On a deeper, more intrinsic level, I would never be matched properly. Before Sterling, I had been worried I might not marry, because who would pair with me? If an occasion occurred when someone expressed interest, Xavier and Mia were quick to remind me that it was forbidden, that they would find my match, and what the consequences would be if I chose to disregard their rules. Which I did of course do, but in secret and only for a night of pleasure. Never more. Not after I suffered the consequences the first time, that is.

Swinging my legs over my bed, I slowly lowered my still sore body. When I was steady on my feet, I turned around and yanked down the golden wedding gown. With more energy than I thought I could conjure, I marched to my bathing room and hung the offensive piece. When it was up and glowing like the sun of a new day, I covered it with a blanket, refusing to look at it again until I needed to.

The dress was a reminder that this marriage with Sterling was my only chance, my only choice. Bellamy, he took a great risk even being alone with me in public. It was no secret that being caught with me could lead to an untimely end.

I reveled in his lack of fear, but I now suspected that it was more due to how he might use me rather than enjoying my company. Acknowledging that forced me to also see that I would always be used, at least by those who I did not call family or friend. No suitor would be with me for anything other than gain. So Sterling, who was foul and evil, was simply one version of the many.

I think that Mia knew that. She was aware that I would have little in the way of options, so last night she did all that she could, she gave me rest in hopes that I might face this upcoming marriage with a clear head. Intelligence and cunning would keep me from getting hurt like that again, so I would sharpen my mind and harden my heart these next two weeks.

With that fact in mind, I rung the pully system that would alert the handmaidens of my need for bath water, ready to wash away the memory of last night and push forward. Within minutes three of them were carrying two large buckets each of steaming bliss. When they finished filling the tub, I thanked them. They all curtsied before leaving me to my washing.

The second my body sunk into the warmth I moaned, finally relaxing as the smell of vanilla—my favorite scent—wafted my way. But when my eyes closed, visions of curly hair, brown eyes, and pain flashed through my head. A sense of urgency came over me, making my eyes open wide.

Move, my mind seemed to tell me, keep going.

So I did.

For the remainder of the day, I refrained from being still, even to sit and eat. Especially to sit and eat, as I knew who would be at the table, wearing false pity and providing empty threats. Sterling would want to convince everyone that he did not lay a hand on me, and that he would kill anyone who did.

He was a skilled fighter, as were most mortals. He once told me that in the Mortal Realm, children were taught from an early age how to fight against fae and demons, to go head-to-head with a power wielder and live to tell the tale. None of us truly knew what the demons were capable of, but still the mortals prepared.

His heroic defense of my honor would seem very in line with his capabilities, though many understood that I needed no protection when I could grab onto any mind. That was not true though, was it? The mortal prince had me incapacitated so easily, as if I was nothing.

Perhaps I was.

---