Page 64 of Underground Prince

“If she did, it’d be on her desk. Hang on.” I left him at the entrance, where he seemed only too happy to remain. The notes were stacked neatly on her desk, with a bright pink post-it stuck to the top saying COGNITION OUTLINE - FOR NOAH.

Hands on my hips, I glared at her handwriting like it was Verily herself smiling up at me and saying, “Who me? Set something up where you’d be alone with Noah and you’d have to converse like polite adults? Never.”

I snatched up the outline and made sure to pull on pajama pants before appearing in front of Noah again.

“Thanks,” he said, tucking the notes against his side. I gave him a tight smile in return, but he didn’t move away, and I didn’t shut the door. “Um, your hair. It looks…nice.”

My slept-in hair was piled on top of my head, the colors raining down the sides of my face like birthday ribbons. I scraped it back. “Thank you.”

“You know, when I last saw you, I didn’t mean—”

“I know.” I did not want to have a heart-to-heart with Noah. Not because he was an asshole, but because he was the opposite.

“I don’t think you do. This thing, I…” He gestured between us, his mouth opening helplessly before he shut it. “Never mind. Neither of us want to talk.”

I unraveled inside, my will deflating. “Do you think it would fix anything?”

“Never. But I can’t seem to stop trying, Letty.”

My old nickname, coming so smoothly from his mouth, said so naturally with his voice, almost had me collapsing.

“I understand why you don’t want to hang around. But when I see you….I…” He rubbed a hand across his mouth, not to remove the emotion but almost to keep it there, to allow himself to drown in his grief. He choked out, “I see you and it kills me.”

“This isn’t good for us.” My voice took on the same strain as his.

“What else do we have?”

He asked it of me as if I had the answer. In a way, I wished I did, that I could sand down our broken edges and we could start this path in life with fresh skin. But he must have understood there was no way I could give him peace. He could never find solace in my presence.

“We have to move on,” I said, injecting firmness into my voice.

“You haven’t. I haven’t.”

“I’m poison to you.”

“That’s not—”

“I’m the reason you can’t find someone else.” My hands were shaking, and I held onto the doorframe, gripping it, gouging my nails against the wood. “I’m nothing but a reminder. You can’t come around me, Noah.”

He reached for me, but I retreated as if he carried the fire of the ancient gods in his fingers.

“Scarlet, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to—”

“Go,” I said to him. “Please.”

“I was only trying to comfort you.” He fisted his free hand against his thigh.

“If only that were all we needed.” I tried for a smile, but I could only muster an excruciating wrench of my lips.

He nodded, and offered up a meager wave. “Yeah.”

Noah trudged down the stairs, his hair carrying the light until he disappeared under the staircase and I couldn’t see him anymore. I waited for the sound of the main door creaking open and slamming shut to ensure he was really gone.

I folded against my door, clicking it closed with my weight, and I slid down and dropped my head to my knees.

And sobbed so quietly that not even I could catch the sound.

* * *

---