My phone flashes where I’ve placed it next to me. I grab it once I register the caller ID.
“Be back in a few,” I say to the guys and wander off stage. “Ma? You okay?”
“Yes, dear. Well—no. It’s why I’m calling.”
My heart bottoms out. “What’s wrong? Where do you need me?”
“No, no, it’s over now. I just had a bit of a fall down the stairs. But I’m back from the doctor, and Lucy’s taking care of me—”
“What? Ma! I’m coming over there.”
“Winston, don’t you dare. You’ve just gone back to playing your instrument with your friends. Don’t drop everything to come see me. I’m doing just fine. Just a bruise on the noggin.”
“Is Lucy there now? Let me talk to her.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Ma gripes. “But she’s giving the twins a bath at the moment, so you’ll have to talk to the invalid.”
Sighing, I lean my forehead against the wall in between photos of past bands who’ve rehearsed here. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“No, you just wanted to play amateur detective, assuming I wouldn’t tell you the truth about the fall.”
“Then tell me the truth.”
“I drank a little too much. There, I said it. Brad and Lucy were asleep and so were the babies. I headed downstairs because I had a small headache from too much wine at dinner and slipped on the top step in my fuzzy socks.”
“Jesus, Ma. So you’re admitting it. You’re drinking again.”
“Baby, you knew.” Ma’s voice goes soft. “You were calculating ways to try and fix me as soon as you returned to the city. When you confronted me that Saturday night…I hated seeing the fear in you.”
“I don’t think you’re broken, Ma.” I rub my eyes with my free hand.
“I’m certainly high-maintenance. Honey, I know I have a problem, but I didn’t want to put it on your shoulders again. You seemed so happy with Dee, and she’s such a delight. I can’t stomach being the source of your problems again and making you lose everything you’ve worked so hard for.”
“I will never consider you to be a handicap to my success, Ma.”
“Maybe not in the immediate sense, but you’re so happy. If it weren’t for Lucy’s prodding, I wouldn’t have called you now. However, she did bring up the point of your anger if I didn’t, and I suppose she’s right. We’re going to work on it, okay? Lucy will help me—”
“Lucy has a giant load of her own to take on. I can’t let you do this alone, Ma. I’m coming home.”
“You are not.”
“Oh, yeah? Then who’s going to help you through this? Brad? Is he there now?”
“No.” I hear Ma’s swallow at the other end. “I don’t know where that boy is, but it’s fine.”
“Stop saying that. It’s not. I don’t care about the tour, not if you’re in trouble.”
“Honey, you’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted. Your band back. A wonderful girl. A brand-new life ahead. Your old bat of a mom will work this out. Lucy’s already tossed all the bottles.”
It’s worse, somehow, hearing my concocted lie through Ma’s voice. I don’t feel like I have anything. I miss the weekend where I played for Dee at night. I miss being the one to make decisions about my music since now it’s back to Rex and East being the real songwriters. If I don’t keep pointing out the bullshit, I’ll go back to being voiceless, the label’s puppet, the way I always was, despite these guys being my friends. Now I’m realizing how exhausting it must be for Rex. All of them. They have their own families to think of now. Their own happiness.
And finally, I’m figuring out, so do I.
“I know a stubborn mule when I hear one, so if you insist on coming to see me with your own eyes to ensure I’m all right before you go on your musical tour, then I demand you bring Dee with you. I’ve spoken to Lucy, young man. I’m aware of Dee’s talent to keep you from flying off the handle if you decide to get into it with Brad again.”
My lips peel back from my teeth with a pained grimace, remembering how Dee barely stopped me from murdering Dennis. “How much did Lucy tell you?”
“Enough to know you boys fought at the bar, and if it weren’t for Dee, you could’ve really hurt each other. That girl is a miracle to get through to two brutes like my sons. I’m as much in love with her as you are.”