Page 13 of Daring You

3

Ben

Fucked.

I am utterly, whole-heartedly, fucked over.

Astor snoozes next to me, the multiple round of orgasms I gave her doing their job and tuckering her out. She’s nestled against the crook of my neck, my scarred arm wrapped around her protectively, like I can prevent what has to come next from hurting her.

I like her too much. I knew it as soon as I turned the engine and drove over to her place, but better sense couldn’t stop me. If I had to leave this town, this life, I had to touch my goodbyes on her rose-scented skin before I went. She would’ve haunted my dreams, ghosted my memories, if I hadn’t. At least, that’s what I rationalized on the trip over here.

Guess I didn’t consider that after having her, her soul would sear into my bones.

Having her wrap around me so tightly, Astor’s wet heat gripping my dick so well I came hard way too quickly—that was mere confirmation of what I already knew. She was different, this girl. Astor had me wrapped around her pinky finger the instant our eyes locked, and her pussy knew it.

See what I mean? I’m fantastically, royally screwed.

She’s innocence and perfection, eager and skilled, precious and independent, all in one. Astor’s the real deal. And we could be something, if I stayed. She could give me that happily ever after I never thought I deserved, if I allowed it to happen.

If I were so selfish, I’d do it.

Dodge’s face swirls behind my eyelids, his high-pitched laugh and deadly promise. He’ll never know about this night, because what happened between me and Astor has nothing to do with his ultimatum.

But if he goes through on his word, today will change my life, and I can’t be here to see it.

Ever so carefully, I tip my chin to kiss Astor’s temple, then slide my arm out from underneath her. She stirs, and I murmur comforts in her ear until she falls back into slumber.

Her profile, the slant of her cheekbone and strong line of her nose, call to my touch, and I trace each defined feature of hers before I put time and distance between us.

I’m able to slide on my clothes, toss my duffel bag I was wary of leaving in my dented, cracked car, across my shoulders, without bothering Astor. I take a moment to stand over her, remember every curve and angle, before I close my eyes on an exhale and say good-bye.

You’ll never know why I left, but hopefully you’re remember how good we were to each other last night.

No. Astor’s too smart for sweet-scented memories. Maybe I can write some kind of note, anything to tell her she’s not the one-night-stand she’ll consider herself to be when she wakes up and I’m long gone.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Astor’s door jolts me out of my hopeful fugue and I mutter, “Shit,” as Astor jerks awake.

“Open up! It’s the RA!”

Astor blinks, the fog of rest dissipating as she takes in where I’m standing, fully clothed, with my bag over my shoulder.

“You’re leaving?”

I swallow, giving myself time to think. “I had to get out early, to—”

“Open up, Hayes!”

Astor tugs her bed sheets up over her body, now avoiding my eye. “Just a second! Where’s my shirt…”

“Astor,” I say.

“Don’t.” She’s still not looking at me. “Your actions are making it clear enough.”

“You don’t understand—”

“Astor Hayes, open up this door immediately!”

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