Page 115 of Daring You

“See, there you go again,” I say with a sad smile.

“I…I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”

“You’re always stating the facts as you see ‘em,” I clarify. “When what I see, is a woman who I want by my side. Always.”

She shakes her head on an uncomfortable laugh. “This has been a lot of trauma. I can’t imagine how it was for you, talking about what happened…”

“A fucking night terror. That’s what it was. Apparently something I suffered from as a child long before the murders. But you are my light, Astor. Hell if I couldn’t see it—it’s in your fucking name. Ever since I met you, you were meant to be in my life. I was meant to have you here today. If you weren’t around, I don’t know what would’ve become of Ryan Delaney, but I do know what would’ve happened to me.”

I rise, meeting her in a stand and holding her hand, loosely.

“I’m not Ben Donahue without you,” I say in a low voice.

“That’s…” When Astor finally meets my eyes, hers are filling with tears. “Oh God, Ben…”

“Hey,” I say, and pull her to me. Astor finds her spot, burying her face in my button-down. “I’m not sure if I’m breaking your heart or making you happy right now, honey.”

“Both,” her muffled voice says into my shirt. “Goddamnit, both.”

She sniffs, and I hold her tighter, stroking her.

“We’ve both been through a lot of shit, huh?” I say into her hair. “How about we give it a break and just be for a while.”

She nods. “Yes. I’d like that.”

Gently, I rest my hands on her shoulders and drift apart from her. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Instead of letting go, Astor surprises me by pulling my mouth onto hers.

Her tongue catches mine, I tilt my head against hers to catch the deep, soul-shattering kiss. So stunning, she scores my lips, like a star shining into my body, the light shriveling all the black tumors harboring within my spirit for so, so long.

And we drift off together, just kissing.

Just being.

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