Page 96 of Anchor Point

I hated that my baby girl was concerned over this. She should be worried about regular kid stuff, and this whole situation was worrisome even for adults. It didn’t sit well with me.

For so long, I’d only had to consider myself. And I thought I’d been okay with that. But the moment they came back into my life, I realized how wrong I’d been. I was so in love with them and couldn’t imagine even a day without them.

Guilt and this sense of failure roiled around in my chest.

If it weren’t for my stupid need to hit that retirement goal, none of this would’ve been an issue. The Watkins attack and the courthouse fire would’ve still happened, but this fallout wouldn’t be an issue.

“Plus,” Rosie continued, absently loving on Buster, who sat behind her with his head propped on her seat. “I really like it here. What if mom loses this job? We’d have to leave and move somewhere else. Moving sucks. I’ve just now made friends.”

I glanced to see her cheeks a bright pink.

“That’s selfish, I know. But it’s the truth. Plus, Mom’s happier than she’s ever been. And then there’s you. I wouldn’t want to leave you.”

The more Rosie talked, the more she drove home that it was up to me to fix this situation. Olivia would only leave if she had to. And if she left, she’d be taking Rosie. And that was not going to happen. I didn’t care what decisions had to be made. I’d find a damn way to keep my family together.

When we got to the house, Rosie flew through the door. Olivia was at the kitchen table scrolling on her laptop. I dropped my keys in the basket they’d bought to collect my things and leaned down to drop a kiss on her head.

On the laptop screen was a web page for job postings.

“What the hell is that?” I didn’t even pretend like I hadn’t snooped over her shoulder.

Olivia squared her shoulders, the ice queen preparing to go to battle.

“Nope, don’t even go there.” I stopped her before she could start. “Don’t tell me you’re thinking of leaving NFD. That’s not going to happen.”

“Mac, we have to be reasonable about this. Smith isn’t done with his tirade. I’ve already hurt the department enough.”

“How?”

“By casting us in such a negative light.”

Her words felt like a slap across the face. That’s what we were? That’s how she felt? That we were negative.

I clenched my teeth, biting back the hurt and anger.

And then reality sank in. She was planning to leave.

Her goals and dreams meant so much to her that she was willing to leave. Sure, she could try and find something close. But we both knew fire chief positions didn’t come easily. And it was likely that it would mean relocation.

I stood stock-still, the truth of it staring me in the face.

I wanted to pitch a fit. Yell. Ask her what about me? What about us? What about Rosie?

But the truth was… she didn’t love me enough to stay and make it work.

I turned on wooden legs and stumbled out the door, walking aimlessly toward the shop, then past it, Buster hot on my heels.

One thought going through my head.

She didn’t really love me, and she was leaving. And my whole world would crumble when they left.

I dropped to the grass on the bank of the pond, the emptiness in my chest a void greater than I’d ever known.

I’d been through this before. I’d faced a quiet house for so long because it hurt so damn bad to know I wasn’t worth fighting for.

I sat there until the sun began to set, an orange glow across the water that usually brought me peace. I couldn’t look at the house that would be empty. I couldn’t think of anything beyond how quiet it would be without them. How lonely I would be. All the nights I’d been here, alone, had never mattered until they came and filled up the space. My life.

My whole fucking body hurt at the thought of losing them.

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