Page 57 of Burn Point

Was I?

Why should it matter if she got some closure on a relationship? It wasn’t like we were dating. I had no claim on her at all, other than us being friends. And I obviously needed to remember that. I pushed off and stood, taking a step toward Thoren.

“Nah, man. I’m not jealous. Jordan and I are just friends.”

I brushed past him on my way out to the bay. I didn’t have a lot to offer Jordan. She had these dreams of traveling, and I loved my job and couldn’t go with her. Even if I felt like she understood me better than anyone and she’d been the only person to show me they cared in forever.

Jordan and I were just friends, and I needed to remember that.

Chapter 15

Jordan

Sandi was waiting for me when I strolled into the bustling coffee shop near Dad’s center. I’d already said my tearful goodbyes with Dad before his rehab session. My visit with them had healed a piece of my soul, but it was already late June and although I’d loved my time with them, it was time to move along and see something new.

She greeted me with a hug, and then pushed a paper bag into my hand.

“I figured you didn’t eat breakfast yet, so I grabbed you something for the road.”

“Thanks, I’m sure I’ll dig into it about a hundred miles or so from now.”

“Which way are you headed this time, or have you even decided yet?”

I grinned. Of course, she would know I didn’t have an actual plan.

She shook her head at me, a wry grin playing at her lips. “You are so much like Waylon, it’s not even funny. That wanderlust is just as alive in you as it was him back in the day.”

“Thanks, I guess?” I said, oddly complimented by her statement.

“Well, you are different in a couple of ways. You need more structure, and he was always flying by the seat of his pants.”

I chuckled at her massive eyeroll, and the memory of my dad in his earlier years.

“But,” she continued, reaching a hand up to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, “I think you need more roots than he did. You need that soft place to land, people you love around you regularly.”

I nodded. “Dad said the same thing. And it makes sense.”

“I think it’s a part of the reason he and your mom split up. She hated traveling, and he loved it. It’s part of why we worked so well. But the other part of that is that we have always been friends.”

I considered her words for a moment. Sandi had been so good for my dad. “I think I resented that you two had that shared love.”

“I know. I tried to make it better—to build that bridge and encourage you to join us, but a lot of times your mom wouldn’t allow it. I bet she never mentioned we wanted you to join us, did she?”

I tried to recall a time that my mom had ever told me they invited me to join them on a trip and couldn’t bring anything to mind. Most of my memories were of her talking bad about them, until I finally quit listening to her poisoning. By then, Dad had been in the accident, and I was too ashamed to reach out.

“I think you needed stability. That’s why you chose that Gerry fella, though he wasn’t right for you.”

I tilted my head to the side, interested in her opinion, because it was the exact opposite of what my mother preached. “What makes you say that?”

“He was in an established career and had his own place. He was a safe choice for you. But he wasn’t the man for you. I can tell because you aren’t destroyed over the loss of him. You don’t feel like you left a part of yourself with him.”

I traced a trail of condensation trickling down the side of the plastic cup of my iced coffee with my thumb while I pondered what she’d said.

Did she have a point? Was she right?

Leaving Gerry had been liberating, like I’d broken free of a mold not made for me.

I met Sandi’s tender gaze. “I’ve been thinking about what I could have done differently. I think I didn’t know my own self. I tried to be what I thought he wanted me to be. So, it was a real slap in the face to be set aside and replaced, to be cheated on and treated like I didn’t matter. But now, I think the cheating part hurts more than the actual break up did, if that makes any sense.”

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