Page 96 of Finding Wonderland

Being a mom was Isla’s greatest blessing in life. She’d been so worried motherhood wasn’t for her when she was pregnant with Blake, but that thought quickly went out of her mind. Isla was made to be Vera Mackenzie’s wife and the mother to their children. Nothing gave her the fulfillment that her family did. Kissing Brayden’s head again, Isla savored the smell of his freshly shampooed hair.

As it so often did, her mind wandered to her eldest daughter. It had been almost two decades since she held Blake as she’d fallen asleep. Isla could still remember the last night she’d tucked Blake into bed. The court hearing was the following day, and Isla had a gut feeling things wouldn’t go her way.

Of course, at the time, she thought that meant split custody of Blake and Mason with Ben. The mere thought was enough to make Isla so sick to her stomach that she lost ten pounds in a week. But as she sat on the side of the bed that night, she tried to reassure her girls that things would be okay.

“No matter what happens tomorrow, I want you girls to both know Mommy loves you so much.”

Isla carefully touched each of their cheeks as Blake and Mason lay cuddled beside each other in Blake’s bed. Mason had insisted on sleeping with her sister, and Blake hadn’t protested. She was beyond thankful for their bond.

“Mommy? Blake’s blue eyes looked up at her with confusion. “Why are you crying?”

“Oh, baby.” Leaning down, Isla kissed Blake’s cheek. “I just love you and Mason so much.”

Looking back, there were a million things Isla would have said. But she knew she couldn’t change the past. If she could, she’d never gone to that courtroom. She would have taken Blake and Mason and made a beeline for Canada or Peru. Anywhere to stop the events from happening the way they had.

But in her heart of hearts, Isla knew everything had to happen for a reason. As much as losing Blake nearly killed her, she’d met Vera while processing her grief. Her life with Vera had been one Isla never expected and couldn’t have imagined in her wildest dreams.

Together, they had raised four beautiful children and created a life they loved. The pain of losing Blake was never far from their minds, and Isla would spend the rest of her life thanking God for Vera for not only understanding but sharing that grief. Vera took on more pain because of Isla’s past than Isla would have ever asked her to carry. But Vera had come up beside Isla and Mason and helped them navigate their new life in a way that changed all their lives forever.

The bedroom door opened again as Vera peeked around the corner. Everleigh’s favorite nightlight was the only light in the room, but Isla could still see the love in Vera’s eyes as she walked over to the recliner and knelt beside it. She kissed Everleigh’s soft dark blonde hair before looking up at Isla.

“I’m very jealous of the good cuddling you’re getting right now.”

“You should be,” Isla chuckled softly. “It’s pretty great.”

“I bet.” Even in the dimly lit room, Vera’s eyes still sparkled. “Not to brag, but I got some Ellie cuddles, too.”

“Oooh.”

“Not as rare as Brayden cuddles, but still pretty damn good.”

“I wholeheartedly concur.”

Ellie was easily the cuddliest of their kids. She was entirely more content to be in their personal space than anywhere else. It had started when she was a baby and wouldn’t sleep at night unless she was on Vera’s chest. When Vera had been pregnant with them, she struggled to sleep on her back or side and often ended up in the recliner downstairs. So it was no surprise when that had been Ellie’s preferred place to fall asleep for the first few years of her life.

These days, Isla rarely found Vera and Ellie asleep on the recliner. If it happened now, it was because Ellie had a bad dream or wasn’t feeling well. Isla knew Vera missed that special bonding time with Ellie, but she was beyond thankful their kids loved them enough to want to be around them so much.

“Can you put her to bed?” Isla nodded at Everleigh as Vera stood and picked her up. She kissed her cheek and rubbed their noses together as Isla fell more in love with her wife than she ever thought possible.

Before putting her down, Vera checked her blood sugar with a finger prick that didn’t even wake Everleigh up. It had been a learning curve for all of them with Everleigh’s diagnosis, but Isla was slowly starting to feel they had a handle on it. At least the routine part of it. They both still struggled to sleep, even with Nala lying beside Everleigh’s bed. And more often than not at least one of them got up in the middle of the night to check on her.

Carefully, Isla picked Brayden up and held him as she wrapped his long legs around her waist and his arms around her neck. She didn’t care that he was almost too big to hold like that. Isla would do it until she couldn’t physically do it anymore.

“I’m going to put him in bed.”

“Come here.” Vera put her hand on Isla’s waist, pulled her close, and kissed her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“I’m so lucky to be the mama to your kids.”

“I’m the lucky one.” Isla kissed her again. “I love our family.”

“It’s the best.”

“We might be biased.”

Isla chuckled. “And I’m okay with that.”

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