Page 58 of Finding Wonderland

Without much fanfare, they got to work digging a hole and planting the tree. Vera placed fresh dirt around its roots while Mason found a rock in the landscaping and twirled it around in her hands. Mason often fidgeted with things when she was processing something. Isla didn’t ask what it was about; she had a feeling she knew the answer. Mason had struggled to express her feelings over the miscarriage, but they both knew it’d hurt her as much as it had them.

“I love it,” Vera said, admiring the tree with tears in her eyes.

“I do, too.” Pulling Vera into her arms, Isla held her with her head on her shoulder. Mason seemed to know they needed a moment alone and headed inside. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Vera took a deep breath. She leaned back in Isla’s arms just enough to see her eyes. “I need to tell you something.”

“That’s funny because I need to tell you something.”

“You go first.”

“No, you,” Isla laughed. “What’s up?”

Vera bit her lip as her gaze lowered from Isla’s. There was an unsure smile across her face as if Vera wasn’t sure she should tell Isla what was on her mind. Isla squeezed her forearms, giving her a silent sign it was okay to go on.

“I think I’m ready.”

“Ready for…” Isla waited for Vera to continue.

“To try for another baby.” The words were accompanied by one of the biggest smiles Isla had ever seen on Vera’s face. Isla couldn’t stop from smiling as she framed Vera’s face with her hands. “I love you so much, and I want to have your baby. I know we’ll never get over losing Cole.”

Vera paused, and Isla felt her breath hitch in her throat at the name. Their therapist had encouraged them to name the baby as a way to make him real. Isla had struggled with it because their loss was real to her, but she and Vera had talked about it for days and Vera needed it. She needed something to let go of, and naming their baby helped her.

Cole had made the top of the baby boy name list quickly. It was one of the few they had instantly greened on when Vera first became pregnant. Cole for a boy and Eleanor for a girl.

Leaning in, Isla kissed Vera’s forehead as she continued.

“But I want to have your baby, Isla. It’s what I have dreamed about since we met. Me, you, Mason, and all the kids we’re blessed to have. We can spend summers here at the beach house and it’ll be perfect. I think now’s the right time.”

“I agree.”

“You do?” Vera nearly sobbed the words.

“Did you think I changed my mind about having a baby with you?” Knowing Vera needed it, Isla pulled her back into a hug. “Vera, I want as many kids with you as we can have. I love you and I can’t wait to grow our family with you.”

“It’ll mean you have to start hormone treatments again if we’re using your egg.”

“I’ll do anything to make a baby with you.”

Kissing again, Isla knew where the day was heading. They made their way back inside to their bedroom, where they made love until they were both insanely breathless. Vera was lying on the bed, her feet dangling off the side as Isla sat on the floor between her legs.

“If that could make babies, we’d have a thousand kids.”

Chuckling, Isla kissed Vera's leg. “I heard that.”

“Do you think we should go check on Mason?”

“She knows what we’re doing.”

Putting her leg over Isla, Vera slid off the bed and onto the floor beside her. She only had her bra on, only because Isla had fumbled with the hook and couldn’t get it off. Vera rested her head on Isla’s shoulder.

“She’s going to be the best big sister.”

“She will be.” Isla paused for a moment before saying, “Just like Blake was.”

Isla loved how open she could be about Blake with Vera. Vera not only listened to her pain, but she took it as her own as well. They both grieved Blake's absence in their lives, even if Vera had never met her.

“One day,” Vera placed her hand on Isla’s upper thigh and drew small circles with her fingertips, “our whole family is going to be here under that tree together and it’s going to be beautiful.”

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